Author Topic: The crazy stuff people say on the net  (Read 25193 times)

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Online Art Vandelay

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #270 on: March 04, 2019, 09:56:19 pm »
Your hot, salty man batter feels so good hitting the back of my throat, no homo.

Offline davedan

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #271 on: March 05, 2019, 01:43:18 am »
Reminds me of this: www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529

But seriously as long as you say 'no homo' you can be the meat in a man-sandwich and still be a proud heterosexual.

Offline dpareja

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #272 on: March 05, 2019, 04:27:14 am »
Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

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Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline Chaos Undivided

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #273 on: March 10, 2019, 10:19:31 pm »

Offline niam2023

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #274 on: March 10, 2019, 11:05:55 pm »
That's Fluorine you nitwit.

Go swallow some Chlorine Trifluoride you Conspiracy Theorist.
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Offline Kanzenkankaku

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #275 on: March 14, 2019, 02:53:50 am »
yes because hydrofluosilic acid is the same thing as fluoride, its kind of in the name that its different and has other elements made together that made it dangerously acidic.

Offline Chaos Undivided

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #276 on: March 14, 2019, 12:29:50 pm »
What I'd like to know is why this guy has a problem with gravity.

Offline davedan

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #277 on: March 14, 2019, 05:11:57 pm »
The first one is a joke, if the gravity doesn't give it away the spinning heliocentric ball earth does. Not even flat earthers are actually serious about flat earth. They are trolling.

Offline Askold

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #278 on: March 15, 2019, 01:31:21 am »
Many Flat Earthers do not believe in gravity. They claim that the reason we see something like gravity happen is either because the Earth is moving straight up all the time accelerating at the speed of 9.78033 m/s2.

...Or that there is no gravity because everything that "scientists" claim to be done by gravity is actually just density. Heavier objects stay down because air is keeping it down as air is less dense.

The two theories are conflicting (and both stupid) but those are the two most common anti-gravity theories that I've seen from Flat Earthers. And I've been reading and watching way too much of their stuff for amusement lately.
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Offline Askold

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #279 on: March 18, 2019, 03:03:25 am »
...This would probably deserve getting posted on the mainpage: http://archive.is/X0BrA

TL;DR: The druids were apparently part of a black society that magically conquered all of Earth before St. Patrick was ordered to exterminate them by the pope of the Orthodox Church and now the only African thing remaining in Ireland is Guinness beer which is a "feminized" version of an African brew.
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Online Art Vandelay

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #280 on: March 18, 2019, 03:19:15 am »
I'd love to know how one "feminises" a beer recipe. All I can think of is adding vagina juice or period blood, which in all honesty isn't so much feminine as fucking disgusting.

Offline Askold

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #281 on: March 18, 2019, 07:40:08 am »
They probably removed the bacon from the recipe and have less titties on the label.
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #282 on: March 18, 2019, 09:46:20 am »
I'd love to know how one "feminises" a beer recipe. All I can think of is adding vagina juice or period blood, which in all honesty isn't so much feminine as fucking disgusting.

Shit, that's easy.  Add estrogen.
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Online Art Vandelay

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #283 on: March 18, 2019, 10:05:19 am »
I suppose that would do it.

Offline Askold

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Re: The crazy stuff people say on the net
« Reply #284 on: March 18, 2019, 11:41:48 am »
And now for something much more sillier:

Quote
    6:00 AM: Your teenage son is getting in from his paper route he works 3 times a week. Given the lack of illegal labor, the demand for these jobs is filled by young people looking for some extra cash. Plus the bike route works his legs, which helped him earn that football scholarship to Auburn next fall to bang hot SEC chicks.

    6:15 AM: You awake to a fresh cup of coffee, k-cups from your local CostCo average at about 8 cents a cup since Coffee producers are striving for the best deal with importers, lest they face the wrath of a 50% protective tariff. Prices are only expected to fall further after Secretary of State Buchanan negotiated a new trade deal with Columbia.

    6:45 AM: You get ready to write a check for your daughter's student loan payment, but it's not needed. The competitive labor force has forced equal pay for men and women and rather than having to room with an Elliot to make rent, she controls her own financial future and makes reasonable payments for her loans. She dates a nice Midwestern boy. You've already talked to him about what your daughter likes and he tells you, "Sir, I just want to make your daughter happy."

    7:30 AM: Your wife sends you off to work after a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Recently you've been able to go to a single income, so she can maintain the house and kids. She also has time to workout during the day, she's dropped 15 pounds. You're actually late, but damn, the sex has never been better and she has never looked finer.

    9:00 AM: You enjoy morning coffee with John, Tom, and Bill. Your portfolio filled with defense stocks rallied overnight amid news that the good boys at Blackwater have seized another oil field from ISIS. Trump intends to pump it out of the ground and ship it to the USA.

    12:30 PM: Power lunch with the boss. You're served by a nice young college lady, again these jobs are no longer filled by illegal labor. You tip generously and enjoy the fresh grass-fed American beef that has become much cheaper as a result of Trump's economic policies. Ribeye pairs nicely with the inexpensive, but premium, California wine. Water is now plentiful in California since Trump decided the water supply was more important then saving water species no one has ever heard of.

    5:30 PM: You're home where your wife has prepared cornish game hens for dinner. Your son asks if he can get you a beer. Domestic has gotten quite cheap since Trump has been helping American farmers rather than wasting foreign aid on some piss poor country. Your son is going out tonight so he can't share with you. Only so many times he gets to bang the head cheerleader before he heads off to Auburn. Thomas Smith, your landscaper, left a note appreciating your tip last week.

    8:00 PM: You watch the news. China is in revolt and Iran, now a peaceful democracy thanks to a CIA funded revolution thought of by Trump, announces the death of 3 more leaders of ISIS. Young Iranians fly American flags in the streets and the new alliance, while fledgling, looks promising. POTUS Trump is in Russia where he has made an ally of Putin in their quest against Islamism. Syria quakes.

    11:00 PM: Before retiring, your wife lets you finally try that thing you've always wanted to do since you just pulled in a big bonus. You sleep soundly and write your check for Trump's re-election campaign. To be picked up by your postman, Robert, the next day.

This was written 3 years ago and apparently was not supposed to be a hilarious parody of the unrealistic dreams of Trump's supporters. I'm sure that each sentence could be nitpicked for the hilarious racist dog whistles (like mentioning how the person mowing the lawn has a stereotypically white name), constant mentions of sex that seem to have been made by someone who has less experience with sex than he has with the "idyllic 50's that never existed" vision that he tries to create.

I do wonder how they'd react to this now that Trump has had the time to make a mark into USA with his presidency...
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!