Author Topic: Important announcement about the parallel universe  (Read 291 times)

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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: Important announcement about the parallel universe
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2018, 08:08:16 am »
Jacob is there a way for you to permanently disappear into your parallel Catholic feudal dystopia? Perhaps if you were flexible enough to put that choirboy head up your holy of holies?

We'll call it a wormhole!

Well as I said, in the parallel universe, the Kingdom fell over the cuckold incident so since the English monarchist legitimist cause failed in the parallel universe, I am promoting it in this universe.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Important announcement about the parallel universe
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2018, 05:18:25 pm »
There was an extramarital affair in your head so you'll annoy us forever?

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: Important announcement about the parallel universe
« Reply #17 on: August 15, 2018, 01:39:40 am »
You know what, I have the perfect solution. Just find a guy who is into cuckolding to be king. That way, whenever the queen gets frisky with another fella, he'll just quietly jerk off in the corner while they do it, and the kingdom itself will stay rock solid instead of collapsing into an anarchic mess.

Now, I know what you're going to say next. Succession laws are holy and must be abided by at all costs or some such. Well, in practice, anyone with a halfway justifiable claim to the throne and a few thousand guys with swords ("I have more guys with swords than the other guy" is itself very much an acceptable claim) can have a crack at seizing the throne. Not to mention, with the consent of a majority of the most powerful vassals, succession laws can be changed, just like any other law. So, I say we find some poor, spineless bastard with a small penis, give him a bunch of guys with swords and have him take the throne. Then he can change the law to say that any heir who is not turned on by his wife being reamed by another guy (preferrably a black guy with a much bigger doodle than the husband (not that that's a difficult bar to clear)) is immediately disqualified from the line of succession without question.

There you go. You'll have a kingdom that can stand the test of time, or at the very least the test of Jerome, Leroy and Tyrell running a train on the queen. This, by Jacob's own admission is something that his kingdom cannot endure without collapse, meaning this particular design is objectively stronger, more stable and is all around a superiour government to yours.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2018, 07:28:22 am by Art Vandelay »

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Important announcement about the parallel universe
« Reply #18 on: August 15, 2018, 02:42:30 am »
Why should he be quiet about it? Plenty of fellas have a cuckold kink who'd be perfectly happy to jerk off right next to and in full view of the action. You could have a terrifying hardass who dishes out medieval tortures to any chamberlain of the boudoir who can't consistently satisfy their insatiable wife.

"Verily varlet is she dost not peak in multiples thy issue will be feasted upon by the royal chihuahuas till nought is left but a bloody stump. I await her majesties glowing report. Get licken'!"
« Last Edit: August 15, 2018, 02:44:59 am by Tolpuddle Martyr »

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: Important announcement about the parallel universe
« Reply #19 on: August 15, 2018, 02:56:13 am »
Hell, he could make it a part of the yearly tournament. Jousting, archery, melee and porking the queen. Glory and a prize of one thousand ducats to the winner.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Important announcement about the parallel universe
« Reply #20 on: August 15, 2018, 04:04:09 am »
Get all the lords and ladies of the court for a Melee Porkin', that'll keep the peasants happy!