Author Topic: Ask FQA!  (Read 23268 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Random Gal

  • Bisex Rex
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2686
  • Gender: Female
  • Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #75 on: October 07, 2015, 08:57:54 am »
So the girl I've mentioned here and I will finally be meeting in person tomorrow, assuming her schedule isn't going to change at the last minute again. This will be a good chance for us to get to know each other better and for me to figure out if we get along well enough to move farther along. From our conversations so far, she seems like a great person, and I expect that impression will only be confirmed when we meet.

If I do find that I really like her, I'm not sure whether I should mention it then or if I should wait until a later time so things are less awkward. I'm divided between not wanting to be too forward and not wanting to wait too long.

So my question, as someone who's made a lot of mistakes with relationships before and still doesn't really know what he's doing, is: If I find out I like her, what is the proper timing to bring it up in a way that doesn't seem too forward?

Offline Askold

  • Definitely not hiding a dark secret.
  • Global Moderator
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 8358
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #76 on: October 07, 2015, 09:04:39 am »
Isn't that about the "purple drank" thingy where you mix it with cough syrup or something to mess up your head when you can't afford booze or drugs?
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Sleepy

  • Fuck Yes Sunshine In a Bag
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 4598
  • Gender: Female
  • Danger zone
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #77 on: October 07, 2015, 10:29:04 am »
So the girl I've mentioned here and I will finally be meeting in person tomorrow, assuming her schedule isn't going to change at the last minute again. This will be a good chance for us to get to know each other better and for me to figure out if we get along well enough to move farther along. From our conversations so far, she seems like a great person, and I expect that impression will only be confirmed when we meet.

If I do find that I really like her, I'm not sure whether I should mention it then or if I should wait until a later time so things are less awkward. I'm divided between not wanting to be too forward and not wanting to wait too long.

So my question, as someone who's made a lot of mistakes with relationships before and still doesn't really know what he's doing, is: If I find out I like her, what is the proper timing to bring it up in a way that doesn't seem too forward?

I definitely wouldn't do it the first time you meet. If you do get along well, I would hang out with her at least 2-3 more times before saying something. And beforehand, try to gauge how you think she feels and how she would respond.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline rookie

  • Miscreant, petty criminal, and all around nice guy
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2200
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #78 on: October 07, 2015, 11:15:31 am »
Random, if it's not too late, I'd like to suggest that you invite her to bring along a friend or two (or more) and let her pick the place to meet. Go out of your way to make her go l feel comfortable. As far as not being too goats, meet her first. Don't get too far ahead of yourself. If you're that worried, try delaying every step. That is, if you think you're ready to flirt with her, mention how you like spending time with her. You think she's pretty,so you compliment her style. You're ready to ask her out, start flirting. Soon enough you'll be able to "read" her enough to gage what's too fast. But the best answer I can give would be to see how the women of this forum (who are paying attention to this) respond to this advice.

Don't force it though. I've had several (10+) divorcees tell me (and others) no relationship is better than a bad one.
The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.

Offline Random Gal

  • Bisex Rex
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2686
  • Gender: Female
  • Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #79 on: October 08, 2015, 01:50:04 am »
It's too late to ask her about friends or whatnot, though I offered to arrange something else with her if she couldn't make it. At any rate though, I chose the local natural history museum where I'm volunteering as it's a public location with a lot of people.

And I agree with you guys; as much as I'm interested in starting a relationship I do have to be realistic in my expectations. Part of the problem was that my first relationship was with an old childhood friend who was already comfortable around me while the second was kind of an extreme doormat after suffering a lot of problems before I met her, and didn't really care . As such, when I dated both of them, they were willing to get a lot closer with me physically from the start. As such, I had the wrong expectations of what a relationship should be, and that' s what I think did me in with the more recent attempts.

So I'll take it more slowly this time, and I'll take tomorrow as mostly a "get to know you" thing.

Offline Random Gal

  • Bisex Rex
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2686
  • Gender: Female
  • Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #80 on: October 08, 2015, 10:53:39 pm »
Update:

I think things turned out pretty well, though there were a lot of unexpected twists.

As it turns out, there was a reason for why meeting her for the first time was nerve-wracking beyond simple scheduling problems, as you surmised. And, as I was starting to suspect, her being trans did factor into it and I should have considered that.We eventually met in a completely different location long after my initial plan fell through, and the initial meeting was really awkward. Turns out she's pre-everything and was afraid of meeting me after I'd been seeing her as female online. Especially difficult was the fact that she'd had to detransition earlier sue to a less-than-ideal living situation. So, she showed up in guy mode in order to let me know the truth. I was honestly quite shocked and things were really tense and uncomfortable at first, but we managed to get over it as we talked for a while and got to know each other better. We eventually managed to bond really well over our shared interest in roleplaying games, and I think it ended really well considering the circumstances.

The advice of "treat her as you would treat any other girl" is a good piece of advice in theory, but in practice I'm learning that being trans can really be important to take into account when considering the situation. Perhaps a better piece of advice would be "don't treat her like a guy, but keep in mind what she's had to deal with and how it might affect things."
« Last Edit: October 08, 2015, 11:04:03 pm by Random Guy »

Offline rookie

  • Miscreant, petty criminal, and all around nice guy
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2200
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #81 on: October 10, 2015, 05:18:56 pm »
I'm glad you met.
The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.

Offline Random Gal

  • Bisex Rex
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2686
  • Gender: Female
  • Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #82 on: October 10, 2015, 05:44:38 pm »
I definitely appreciated making a new friend, and so did she. She doesn't really have other friends right now, due to unfortunately all-too-familiar circumstances, so I'm glad it worked out too. And even though things weren't exactly what I'd expected, I still think I'm starting to like her.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2015, 05:48:45 pm by Random Guy »

Offline Svata

  • Doesn't even fucking know anymore
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1542
  • Gender: Male
  • No, seriously, fuck astrology.
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #83 on: October 11, 2015, 12:50:32 am »
Woo! High five!

"Politician" is the occupational equivalent of "Florida".

Offline TheUnknown

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1031
  • Gender: Female
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #84 on: November 16, 2015, 12:19:07 pm »
So, my laptop screen is dying, and leaving it off for too long risks it permanently shorting out.  It almost did it a couple of times, but I managed to get it working again.  I also can't leave it on for too long, since one corner has started to become hot.  I figured out how to schedule the computer to automatically wake itself up every 30 minutes, but there's a problem; the computer wakes up, but the screen won't actually turn on unless I move the mouse.  I can't do this if I'm away or asleep, so I need to find out if there's a way to get the screen to automatically wake up with the computer.  What do you suggest?

pyro

  • Guest
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #85 on: November 16, 2015, 03:35:18 pm »
So, my laptop screen is dying, and leaving it off for too long risks it permanently shorting out.  It almost did it a couple of times, but I managed to get it working again.  I also can't leave it on for too long, since one corner has started to become hot.  I figured out how to schedule the computer to automatically wake itself up every 30 minutes, but there's a problem; the computer wakes up, but the screen won't actually turn on unless I move the mouse.  I can't do this if I'm away or asleep, so I need to find out if there's a way to get the screen to automatically wake up with the computer.  What do you suggest?

Figure out where the short is and actually fix it. It's probably one of the wires linking the monitor to the base; those things go through a lot of stress.

Offline mellenORL

  • Pedal Pushing Puppy Peon
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 3876
  • Gender: Female
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #86 on: November 16, 2015, 06:02:14 pm »
That kind of fix is usually pretty easy if you google for a how to vid using your laptop make and model. Or, if you can afford 30 bucks or so, take it to an indie shop to fix it. If you need parts, try tigerdirect.
Quote from: Ultimate Chatbot That Totally Passes The Turing Test
I sympathize completely. However, to use against us. Let me ask you a troll. On the one who pulled it. But here's the question: where do I think it might as well have stepped out of all people would cling to a layman.

Offline TheUnknown

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1031
  • Gender: Female
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #87 on: November 16, 2015, 09:15:10 pm »
Reading up online, it seems like there's a problem with the lcd backlight inverter (the screen is there, there's just no light).  Both sources I've seen say it's a better investment to just replace the monitor than the inverter.  If that's the case, it might be better to just invest in a new laptop considering this one is 6 years old (it came with Windows Vista).  The problem is that I have no job (currently searching) and no money, so I'd need to know what would be the better option for my mom.

Either way, this screen is fucked, and my only other option is the living room desktop, which I haven't used in years.

Offline Sleepy

  • Fuck Yes Sunshine In a Bag
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 4598
  • Gender: Female
  • Danger zone
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #88 on: December 21, 2015, 02:36:13 pm »
Does anyone know Japanese? These words are Japanese (with reversed or jumbled letters, it seems) but I want to know what the actual words are, once corrected. I think it translates to something like "dance with devils right now."

Suru bide zui usunda gusumai
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline TheUnknown

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1031
  • Gender: Female
Re: Ask FQA!
« Reply #89 on: January 03, 2016, 11:33:03 pm »
Have any other chrome users been having problems with SPDY errors and images on certain sites not loading lately?