FSTDT Forums

Community => Politics and Government => Topic started by: DiscoBerry on February 01, 2012, 07:27:47 pm

Title: How White are you?
Post by: DiscoBerry on February 01, 2012, 07:27:47 pm
Apparently according to Charles Murray of the American Enterprise Institute,  I am not in-tune with White Culture.  http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=how-thick-is-your-bubble (http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=how-thick-is-your-bubble)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: VirtualStranger on February 01, 2012, 07:34:58 pm
"White culture"

Also known as: "the entirety of mainstream western culture."
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Jack Mann on February 01, 2012, 07:41:10 pm
Okay, starting up the quiz.  I'm predicting I'm gonna come up pretty white on this.  Were I any more whitebread, I'd have Wonder tattooed on my forehead in big red letters.

EDIT:  10 out of 20.  A little surprised.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Smurfette Principle on February 01, 2012, 07:48:01 pm
Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.

In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.

Personal opinion: bullshit. Jobs that are painful, being in parades, and having friends who have political differences or don't do well in school are not white-only phenomena.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on February 01, 2012, 07:55:11 pm
This quiz is such bullshit. Apparently this asshat thinks that "white culture" depends on how much you conform to the stereotype of a WASP.

Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.

In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.

Don't tell me what to do, asshole.

(By the way, this is also the man who co-authored The Bell Curve, which says that race influences intelligence.)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: DiscoBerry on February 01, 2012, 07:59:12 pm
Okay, starting up the quiz.  I'm predicting I'm gonna come up pretty white on this.  Were I any more whitebread, I'd have Wonder tattooed on my forehead in big red letters.

EDIT:  10 out of 20.  A little surprised.

You did worse than me I got a 12
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: N. De Plume on February 01, 2012, 08:02:51 pm
Apparently I have an upper class bubble. Well, that is a joke! Class ain’t got a thing to do with any isolation I might have!

So you aren’t engaged if you don’t watch NASCAR or Oprah? ::)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: nickiknack on February 01, 2012, 08:03:15 pm
I got the same thing Smurfette got. I really don't understand how these things are "white" things?? But this is some jackass from AEI trying to sell his dumb ass book. Also I don't know if any of you guys know it, but AEI is a thinktank that is somewhat conservative in nature, so this bs isn't all that shocking.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: RavynousHunter on February 01, 2012, 09:11:39 pm
I got a 5/20, apparently, I "need to get around more."  This thing needs more options, if nothing else...have I been to a parade or rally that wasn't a gay pride parade or such?  I've never been to a parade or rally, period.  Seriously, never.

But, I'm gonna join the chorus and call this test pure and utter bullshit.  I don't give a fuck about race...I'm white, I'm American, but that shit don't matter.  I'm human.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Smurfette Principle on February 01, 2012, 09:22:03 pm
I care about race because it's a matter of heritage, but seriously, this guy's an ass. Are gay people suddenly not white?
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Vene on February 01, 2012, 09:56:42 pm
This quiz did not ask nearly enough about trees.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Sigmaleph on February 01, 2012, 10:41:32 pm
Y'know what's weird? I got 4 out of 20, but the thing at the bottom says I got between 5 and 8.


Of course, any score I get is meaningless because the questions are designed with the assumption that the taker is American.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: KZN02 on February 01, 2012, 10:43:46 pm
4/20, but the result was:

Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.

I'll admit I was confused with a few of the questions on whether to say yes or no on.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Distind on February 01, 2012, 10:56:16 pm
On a scale of one to shit test, this comes out pretty well on the shit test end of things. If someone has a fridge stocked with mass amounts of some shitty beer, do you really expect them to remember what a nascar driver looks like? If so they are not watching the race correctly.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: N. De Plume on February 01, 2012, 11:25:31 pm
I wish I knew why this thing bugged me so much. I usually don’t get this angry over something so trivial.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: rookie on February 01, 2012, 11:38:50 pm
"13 Out of 20. In other words, apparently you don't even have a bubble."

WTF does that mean? Is that good or bad? Yes, I am kind of to the right on a great many issues with most of my friends being moderate left (and even a few to the left of Aaron Sorkin). So I enjoy lively debates about things that matter. I used to hunt and still like to fish. Know who I learned the most about fishing from? A retired black guy. Seriously, I'd bring him coffee when I was in my early teens just so he'd sit there and teach me. Yeah, I was in the army and got to march in a few 4th of July parades with my VFW post. Sure, starting out, I had an apartment in a lower middle class neighborhood. Yeah, sometimes I put Sam Adams or Yeungling in my fridge. It does the job well enough and I can live with the price. They can pretend to be microbrews all they want but when you see their commercials in other states, well, they can call themselves what they want but it doesn't change anything.

Sigma, I think the problem isn't that it assumes the taker is American. The problem is on the assumption that every white guy is the same and every black guy is the same and every Asain guy, every Hispanic, every...every...every. If it's trying to be a funny or cute joke, it missed the mark by a wide margin.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: deadpandoubter on February 01, 2012, 11:43:30 pm
...so white = pretentious redneck?

Only white people befriend people with learning disabilities. Only white people attend local advocacy clubs. Only white people attend marches that don't have to do with icky brown or homo people. Only white people hang out with smokers. Only white people can tolerate others with differences in opinion.

Also, I'm a 4/20 or a 5-8 depending on where you look. Praise babby Jebus that I'm not one of THOSE people.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: JohnE on February 01, 2012, 11:48:22 pm
...so white = pretentious redneck?
My thoughts exactly. This wasn't a "How White are You?" test. It was a "How Redneck are You?" test. I scored a 4/20, and feel proud for it.

If they really wanted to test how in touch you are with your whiteness, they should have questions about European culture, language and history. But I'll bet liberals (of all races) would score higher on that test.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: rookie on February 01, 2012, 11:53:47 pm
I disagree DPD. Owning a pickup truck, liking fishing, and knowing who Jimmie Johnson is doesn't a redneck make.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Aqualung on February 02, 2012, 12:07:09 am
6/20. Hunh. If the alternative is drinking beer, watching NASCAR and hunting I'd rather stick with the bubble. >:/
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on February 02, 2012, 12:50:33 am
 What the hell was the point of this?  Seeing as how they ask a bunch of "yes" and "no" questions, I don't see how this quiz is supposed to determine anything.  I don't think it's deep enough.  Also, I have no fucking clue if my neighbors have college degrees or not!

Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 9 and 12.

In other words, even if you're part of the new upper class, you've had a lot of exposure to the rest of America.

::)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Smurfette Principle on February 02, 2012, 01:06:19 am
What the hell was the point of this?  Seeing as how they ask a bunch of "yes" and "no" questions, I don't see how this quiz is supposed to determine anything.  I don't think it's deep enough.  Also, I have no fucking clue if my neighbors have college degrees or not!

Is a college degree supposed to be a "white" thing or a "nonwhite" thing? I can't tell.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: MaybeNever on February 02, 2012, 01:08:05 am
Here's my test, also entitled "How White Are You?"

Are you white?
1. Yes
2. No

1. You got a 1/1, indicating that you are, or believe you are, white.
2. You got a 0/1, indicating that you are not, or do not believe you are, white.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: davedan on February 02, 2012, 01:55:13 am
Here's my test, also entitled "How White Are You?"

Are you white?
1. Yes
2. No

1. You got a 1/1, indicating that you are, or believe you are, white.
2. You got a 0/1, indicating that you are not, or do not believe you are, white.

That is a grand plan but it is a bit thrown by the Ali G/ michael jackson effect.

On the otherhand Apartheid South Africa had a colour/race test where you could come up as one of 6 groups.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Cerim Treascair on February 02, 2012, 02:32:21 am
I got a 5/20, apparently, I "need to get around more."  This thing needs more options, if nothing else...have I been to a parade or rally that wasn't a gay pride parade or such?  I've never been to a parade or rally, period.  Seriously, never.

But, I'm gonna join the chorus and call this test pure and utter bullshit.  I don't give a fuck about race...I'm white, I'm American, but that shit don't matter.  I'm human.

"I don't give a fuck about race...I'm white, I'm American, but that shit don't matter.  I'm human."  Sig'd so FUCKING HARD!
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Lt. Fred on February 02, 2012, 02:57:26 am
This quiz is such bullshit. Apparently this asshat thinks that "white culture" depends on how much you conform to the stereotype of a WASP.

Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.

In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.

Don't tell me what to do, asshole.

(By the way, this is also the man who co-authored The Bell Curve, which says that race influences intelligence.)

I thought his racist, fraudulent arse was laughed out of serious company a long time ago. His absurd hoax was pretty outrageous.

Conservatives can never be wrong, I guess.

Addendum: I did hear about a new book he wrote, arguing that the Superior Class ought to tell the inferior negro to be as Superior as they. How do people get away with this shit?
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Lt. Fred on February 02, 2012, 03:02:38 am
What the hell was the point of this?

To indict the inferior negro and his servant, the liberal you-know-what lover.

My favourite bit? His definition of elite:

"Did you grow up in a family in which the chief breadwinner was not in a managerial position or high-prestige occupation (defined as dentist, physician, architect, attorney, engineer, scientist, or college professor)?"

Since when is a college profession by definition high-prestige? This guy is just a dishonest bigot.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: jumpingjackflash on February 02, 2012, 03:58:48 am
Just a quiz designed by a racist to see if the taker is DEM EBIL LIBRULZ/NIGGAZ/whatever wharrgarbl those bigots are spouting from their frothing mouths. In other words,

(http://www.alt-gifts.com/assets/images/product/large/3199.jpg)

Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: DrFishcake on February 02, 2012, 04:40:53 am
If you read the book description he gets one thing right, that society is changing. Because that's what societies - and particularly post-industrial societies - do. Other than that he's pretty much talking out of his arse.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Auri-El on February 02, 2012, 05:36:24 am
Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 0 and 4.

In other words, your bubble is so thick you may not even know you're in one.

Okay then. Never mind there's more to America than cheap beer, Nascar, and Oprah. I'm just not white enough.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Mantorok on February 02, 2012, 05:45:54 am
Apparently I'm not American enough to be white.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Shane for Wax on February 02, 2012, 06:38:04 am
Fine, I'll do this silly thing...
Numbers do not correspond to the questions:
1) How does Transformers make me white?
2)  Have you ever participated in a parade that did not involve global warming, gay rights, or a war protest? <-- Yes. I was in the motherfeckin' band. Does this make me white?
3) Since leaving school, have you worn a uniform as part of your job? <-- No. I wore one while I was in school.
4) Did you or your spouse ever serve in the armed forces? <-- This makes a person white?
5) Did you grow up in a family in which the chief breadwinner was not in a managerial position or high-prestige occupation (defined as dentist, physician, architect, attorney, engineer, scientist, or college professor)?  <-- uhhh... my dad managed rockets. Does that count? Whatever.
6) Have you ever lived for at least a year as an adult in an American neighborhood in which the majority of your nearest 50 neighbors probably did not have college degrees?  <-- do you expect me to ask 50 of my neighbors?

My score...
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.

In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.

really? I scored 4 out of 20 questions.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: N. De Plume on February 02, 2012, 07:33:21 am
I disagree DPD. Owning a pickup truck, liking fishing, and knowing who Jimmie Johnson is doesn't a redneck make.
But having all that and stocking the PBR does. ;)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Ranger_Joe on February 02, 2012, 11:36:21 am
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 13 and 16.

In other words, you don't even have a bubble.

This was hilarious. I am about as far from the mainstream as you can get. These questions don't really indicate anything other than personal preference. It's more like a broad brush of "white things" that people do. The whole parade question said "That wasn't anti-war, gay pride, etc". Liberal ideas. Hilarious...

Edited for my explaination.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Scotsgit on February 02, 2012, 11:44:30 am
I'm not getting the bit about the armed forces, is he saying they're all white?

(and I scored 10 out of 20)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Sleepy on February 02, 2012, 11:49:11 am
I got a 5/20. Man, I better go do a bunch of white shit so I can improve my white score.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Ranger_Joe on February 02, 2012, 11:52:19 am
I got a 5/20. Man, I better go do a bunch of white shit so I can improve my white score.

We need to mayo all the things and watch Oprah. I could likely be more white, according to this guy. We can improve our whiteness as a team. Team Whitey! Team Cracker? ;D
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: MaybeNever on February 02, 2012, 02:35:40 pm
The Fightin' Whites!

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/fe/FightingWhites.png)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: D Laurier on February 02, 2012, 03:07:22 pm
On my mothers side I have a lot of scots irish ancestors, and one runnaway slave who's english still had a lot of african words.

On my father's side I'm metis.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on February 02, 2012, 03:15:33 pm
I disagree DPD. Owning a pickup truck, liking fishing, and knowing who Jimmie Johnson is doesn't a redneck make.

Oh, is that who that was?
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Jodie on February 02, 2012, 03:27:40 pm
I am sure this has been asked already but WTF is White Culture???

Edit: Just did the quiz and got an 8 out of 20, though most of those questions could not apply to me (I am not American, I don't drink beer, and I have never purchased/owned a vehicle, etc).
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Shane for Wax on February 02, 2012, 03:36:32 pm
The beer thing doesn't apply to me because I've usually had the more microbrews or foreign beers and I did not feel that was very white to do. :P
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: StallChaser on February 02, 2012, 04:21:11 pm
My day as a white american:

It started when I took this survey that said I was in a bubble.  How do I break out?  I can just spend a day doing things to get "yes" answers.

I go to the convenience store to pick up a 24 pack of Budweiser and a carton of cigarettes.  And back home.  Shouldn't I be going to work?  Hmm... I'll get to that later.

I crack open a beer and light a cig-  shit!  I forgot a lighter, so I light it off the stove.

I turn on the TV and switch to nascar.  One beer down.  I start a new one.  Cars are driving in circles.  I become bored and drink another beer.  My cigarette is out, so I need to relight another one on the stove.  Note to self: always keep more cigarettes around so I can use the previous one to light it.

I look at the list.  Church.  I drive to a church, drinking another beer in the process.  I smoke another cigarette.  I have to remind myself to get a lighter.

I try to make a friend at church.  That way I'll have a friend that's a fundamentalist christian I disagree with politically, to mark off 2 more yes answers in one shot.  All friendship attempts fail.  Something about rudeness in interrupting the sermon, reeking of tobacco, and slurring my wrods.  I'm forced to leave, but wait around drinking beer until peolpe leave church and someone does something known as "witnessing", and claims to be a friend triyng to "save" me.  Thsoe two things:  Check.

I'm hungry.  Appelbees soudns awesome right now!  I'm drunk, but I'm at that point where I'm relaly good at driving, nto too messed up that I'm impaired.  There is smoething like that, right?  Everyone else sukcs at driving, but whatever.  I get there, double park across two hanidcap spots an dwalk in.  I get in and ask for a "fucking bloomin' onion".  They say something about it being the worng resturant, but whatever.  Oprah is on.  Another thing on the checklist to become a super amerian.  I grunt and point to something on the menu.

Oprah is talking about some book when a nice girl arrvies with food.  I was hnugry, and she read my mind!  I'm in love ^_^ Oh yeh, I ordered that, huh?  Maybe this will sboer me up.  That was some really fucking awesome food, a lot better when you're drunk, and I'm sobered up a bit.  I finish watching Oprah and walk out.  I think I forgot something about paiyng, but it's too late now.  I crack open another beer and drive off.

...and carsh into a pole!  Fcuk, that pole jupmed out form nowhere!  goddmait!  Car won't strat adn is spilling smelly liquids everywhere.  I pull all my beers out of the car and strat walking.  Walking and drinkign.  I need a fucking cigarette.  Lighter!  I go to a conevnience store, hid the beers behind a bush to lighten the load and wlak in.  I grab a lighter and dump all the coins in my wlalet onto the counter.  Not enough, so I grap a dollar bill out of my wallet and toss it dwon.  But it was a Receipt.  OK.  ar eal dollar.  Nwo I can lihgt up.  also gte myslef a bag to carry the beers.

I pull out the list.  Greyhound bus and tranfsormers movie sound good.  I fnid the cheapest ticket and go on the bus, then to the movie thaeter and fnid out they dnot allow beer adn I have to fnish what I hvae before I go in.  I pnoud that shit lkie a champ and gte a mvoie ticket.  The plot mkaes no snese but awesome expolsions!  Dude, it wsa fcukng awsmoe!  I think I threw up on the folor at one poitn btu it was sticyk aynways so fcuk it.  I got out after movie endde and can't fnid where I parked.  Oh goddammit, I guses I am wakling.

I wake up having no idea where I am, what time it is, or where my car or pants are.  I have the worst splitting headache you could imagine.  My cell phone is near me, and I have angry text messages from everyone.  Near me is a list:

Quote
drink cheap beer and smoke cigarettes
Get injured at a factory job while wearing a uniform
shoot some varmints
go to rotory club meeting
parade
find fundie friend with political disagreements
Watch nascar and Oprah
watch transformers movie
join the military
ride a greyhound bus
disown my parents and claim a poor family as my own
make friend with someone incapable of passing high school
move to poor neighborhood

Iz I a white American?
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: MaybeNever on February 02, 2012, 04:26:33 pm
My day as a white american:

It started when I took this survey that said I was in a bubble.  How do I break out?  I can just spend a day doing things to get "yes" answers.

I go to the convenience store to pick up a 24 pack of Budweiser and a carton of cigarettes.  And back home.  Shouldn't I be going to work?  Hmm... I'll get to that later.

I crack open a beer and light a cig-  shit!  I forgot a lighter, so I light it off the stove.

I turn on the TV and switch to nascar.  One beer down.  I start a new one.  Cars are driving in circles.  I become bored and drink another beer.  My cigarette is out, so I need to relight another one on the stove.  Note to self: always keep more cigarettes around so I can use the previous one to light it.

I look at the list.  Church.  I drive to a church, drinking another beer in the process.  I smoke another cigarette.  I have to remind myself to get a lighter.

I try to make a friend at church.  That way I'll have a friend that's a fundamentalist christian I disagree with politically, to mark off 2 more yes answers in one shot.  All friendship attempts fail.  Something about rudeness in interrupting the sermon, reeking of tobacco, and slurring my wrods.  I'm forced to leave, but wait around drinking beer until peolpe leave church and someone does something known as "witnessing", and claims to be a friend triyng to "save" me.  Thsoe two things:  Check.

I'm hungry.  Appelbees soudns awesome right now!  I'm drunk, but I'm at that point where I'm relaly good at driving, nto too messed up that I'm impaired.  There is smoething like that, right?  Everyone else sukcs at driving, but whatever.  I get there, double park across two hanidcap spots an dwalk in.  I get in and ask for a "fucking bloomin' onion".  They say something about it being the worng resturant, but whatever.  Oprah is on.  Another thing on the checklist to become a super amerian.  I grunt and point to something on the menu.

Oprah is talking about some book when a nice girl arrvies with food.  I was hnugry, and she read my mind!  I'm in love ^_^ Oh yeh, I ordered that, huh?  Maybe this will sboer me up.  That was some really fucking awesome food, a lot better when you're drunk, and I'm sobered up a bit.  I finish watching Oprah and walk out.  I think I forgot something about paiyng, but it's too late now.  I crack open another beer and drive off.

...and carsh into a pole!  Fcuk, that pole jupmed out form nowhere!  goddmait!  Car won't strat adn is spilling smelly liquids everywhere.  I pull all my beers out of the car and strat walking.  Walking and drinkign.  I need a fucking cigarette.  Lighter!  I go to a conevnience store, hid the beers behind a bush to lighten the load and wlak in.  I grab a lighter and dump all the coins in my wlalet onto the counter.  Not enough, so I grap a dollar bill out of my wallet and toss it dwon.  But it was a Receipt.  OK.  ar eal dollar.  Nwo I can lihgt up.  also gte myslef a bag to carry the beers.

I pull out the list.  Greyhound bus and tranfsormers movie sound good.  I fnid the cheapest ticket and go on the bus, then to the movie thaeter and fnid out they dnot allow beer adn I have to fnish what I hvae before I go in.  I pnoud that shit lkie a champ and gte a mvoie ticket.  The plot mkaes no snese but awesome expolsions!  Dude, it wsa fcukng awsmoe!  I think I threw up on the folor at one poitn btu it was sticyk aynways so fcuk it.  I got out after movie endde and can't fnid where I parked.  Oh goddammit, I guses I am wakling.

I wake up having no idea where I am, what time it is, or where my car or pants are.  I have the worst splitting headache you could imagine.  My cell phone is near me, and I have angry text messages from everyone.  Near me is a list:

Quote
drink cheap beer and smoke cigarettes
Get injured at a factory job while wearing a uniform
shoot some varmints
go to rotory club meeting
parade
find fundie friend with political disagreements
Watch nascar and Oprah
watch transformers movie
join the military
ride a greyhound bus
disown my parents and claim a poor family as my own
make friend with someone incapable of passing high school
move to poor neighborhood

Iz I a white American?

Dear sir,

Kindly meet me at your earliest convenience in the alley of your choosing for some hot hobosex as a reward for your excellence.

Regards,

Lord A. Hoboworthy III
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: nickiknack on February 02, 2012, 04:46:29 pm
Are gay people suddenly not white?

No, they're 3 headed aliens with pink polka dot skin
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Thejebusfire on February 02, 2012, 05:32:47 pm
I got no questions about Monty Phython, Dr. Who, or Star Trek and/or Wars. So therefore bullshit.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: deadpandoubter on February 02, 2012, 05:51:06 pm
I disagree DPD. Owning a pickup truck, liking fishing, and knowing who Jimmie Johnson is doesn't a redneck make.

Bragging about such things, however, tends to be a good indicator of redneckness. In the Carolinas, at least.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on February 02, 2012, 06:18:49 pm
My day as a white american:

It started when I took this survey that said I was in a bubble.  How do I break out?  I can just spend a day doing things to get "yes" answers.

I go to the convenience store to pick up a 24 pack of Budweiser and a carton of cigarettes.  And back home.  Shouldn't I be going to work?  Hmm... I'll get to that later.

I crack open a beer and light a cig-  shit!  I forgot a lighter, so I light it off the stove.

I turn on the TV and switch to nascar.  One beer down.  I start a new one.  Cars are driving in circles.  I become bored and drink another beer.  My cigarette is out, so I need to relight another one on the stove.  Note to self: always keep more cigarettes around so I can use the previous one to light it.

I look at the list.  Church.  I drive to a church, drinking another beer in the process.  I smoke another cigarette.  I have to remind myself to get a lighter.

I try to make a friend at church.  That way I'll have a friend that's a fundamentalist christian I disagree with politically, to mark off 2 more yes answers in one shot.  All friendship attempts fail.  Something about rudeness in interrupting the sermon, reeking of tobacco, and slurring my wrods.  I'm forced to leave, but wait around drinking beer until peolpe leave church and someone does something known as "witnessing", and claims to be a friend triyng to "save" me.  Thsoe two things:  Check.

I'm hungry.  Appelbees soudns awesome right now!  I'm drunk, but I'm at that point where I'm relaly good at driving, nto too messed up that I'm impaired.  There is smoething like that, right?  Everyone else sukcs at driving, but whatever.  I get there, double park across two hanidcap spots an dwalk in.  I get in and ask for a "fucking bloomin' onion".  They say something about it being the worng resturant, but whatever.  Oprah is on.  Another thing on the checklist to become a super amerian.  I grunt and point to something on the menu.

Oprah is talking about some book when a nice girl arrvies with food.  I was hnugry, and she read my mind!  I'm in love ^_^ Oh yeh, I ordered that, huh?  Maybe this will sboer me up.  That was some really fucking awesome food, a lot better when you're drunk, and I'm sobered up a bit.  I finish watching Oprah and walk out.  I think I forgot something about paiyng, but it's too late now.  I crack open another beer and drive off.

...and carsh into a pole!  Fcuk, that pole jupmed out form nowhere!  goddmait!  Car won't strat adn is spilling smelly liquids everywhere.  I pull all my beers out of the car and strat walking.  Walking and drinkign.  I need a fucking cigarette.  Lighter!  I go to a conevnience store, hid the beers behind a bush to lighten the load and wlak in.  I grab a lighter and dump all the coins in my wlalet onto the counter.  Not enough, so I grap a dollar bill out of my wallet and toss it dwon.  But it was a Receipt.  OK.  ar eal dollar.  Nwo I can lihgt up.  also gte myslef a bag to carry the beers.

I pull out the list.  Greyhound bus and tranfsormers movie sound good.  I fnid the cheapest ticket and go on the bus, then to the movie thaeter and fnid out they dnot allow beer adn I have to fnish what I hvae before I go in.  I pnoud that shit lkie a champ and gte a mvoie ticket.  The plot mkaes no snese but awesome expolsions!  Dude, it wsa fcukng awsmoe!  I think I threw up on the folor at one poitn btu it was sticyk aynways so fcuk it.  I got out after movie endde and can't fnid where I parked.  Oh goddammit, I guses I am wakling.

I wake up having no idea where I am, what time it is, or where my car or pants are.  I have the worst splitting headache you could imagine.  My cell phone is near me, and I have angry text messages from everyone.  Near me is a list:

Quote
drink cheap beer and smoke cigarettes
Get injured at a factory job while wearing a uniform
shoot some varmints
go to rotory club meeting
parade
find fundie friend with political disagreements
Watch nascar and Oprah
watch transformers movie
join the military
ride a greyhound bus
disown my parents and claim a poor family as my own
make friend with someone incapable of passing high school
move to poor neighborhood

Iz I a white American?

(http://notes.tomhenrich.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/slow-clap.gif)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Xander Zzyzx on February 02, 2012, 06:25:43 pm
I got 10 out of 20, It claims that I still have an upper class bubble, which is bullshit because my family couldn't be further from "upper class".

There was that question about the parade thing: If I answer "no" to the question about participating in a parade that wasn't for gay rights, or global warming awareness, then I have participated in other types of parades? Too bad there wasn't an option for "I have never participated in ANY parade. And also, having owned a pickup truck in my life, as well as enjoying fishing during the summer, does not make me some uncultured hillbilly.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: clockworkgirl21 on February 02, 2012, 08:21:00 pm
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 9 and 12.

In other words, even if you're part of the new upper class, you've had a lot of exposure to the rest of America.


Me upper class? LOL!
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on February 02, 2012, 09:16:48 pm
Took the quiz even though I'm not American. 8 out of 20.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Oriet on February 03, 2012, 11:21:18 am
I took it for the lulz. I got 6/20. I admit I could stand to get out more, but if I did they would assume I'd have an even thicker bubble or whatever. Also gotta love how he assumes "white" equals snobby upper class. If anything, snobby upper class is less American, as they're further removed from the majority of Americans, so yeah, it's bullshit.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Saturn500 on April 29, 2012, 03:29:47 pm
Quote from: Bullshit Test Results
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 0 and 4.

In other words, your bubble is so thick you may not even know you're in one.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: VirtualStranger on April 29, 2012, 03:39:53 pm
HOLY NECROMANCY, BATMAN! THE DEAD THREAD HAS RISEN FROM IT'S GRAVE.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: driewerf on April 29, 2012, 04:33:31 pm
The beer thing doesn't apply to me because I've usually had the more microbrews or foreign beers and I did not feel that was very white to do. :P
That was an easy one for me. Here in Belgium we have without any doubts the best beers in the world. And the quiz stipulated "domestic beers", so yes I have them in the fridge.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Old Viking on April 29, 2012, 04:42:44 pm
I'm proud to announce that I'm an honorary black man.  Although I'm still uncoordinated.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: ThunderWulf on April 29, 2012, 11:39:01 pm
LOL, this is so stupid.  I'm part of the upper class bubble?  Yes, that's why I'm a retail manager who's still saving up to buy a new car.  -_-  Some of these things made no sense in the context of the quiz.  Like the Transformers movie one.  How is not seeing A movie an upper class thing? o_O
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Fpqxz on April 30, 2012, 01:27:53 am
Let's not forget that Charles Murray is a paid right-wing propagandist who gets funding from the usual suspects (Heritage Foundation et al.).  There is no reason to take anything he says at face value.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on April 30, 2012, 02:09:21 am
I retook the test. It seems I'm still a bad American. Guess it's a good thing that I'm Canadian.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Shane for Wax on April 30, 2012, 12:12:55 pm
Holy necromancy... But since someone responded to me...

The beer thing doesn't apply to me because I've usually had the more microbrews or foreign beers and I did not feel that was very white to do. :P
That was an easy one for me. Here in Belgium we have without any doubts the best beers in the world. And the quiz stipulated "domestic beers", so yes I have them in the fridge.

I dunno. Belgium and Germany seem to be head-to-head for me and my tastebuds. And I say that with American, Brit, German, and Belgian alcoholic beverages in my fridge.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Thejebusfire on April 30, 2012, 03:59:46 pm
Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 9 and 12.

In other words, even if you're part of the new upper class, you've had a lot of exposure to the rest of America.

So because I eat at Applebees and attend my town's yearly christmas parade I've had "a lot of exposure to the rest of America?"

Edit: Not to mention the fact that I've only left Oklahoma/Texas twice.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: SpaceProg on April 30, 2012, 04:22:29 pm
This whole quiz seems very classist.  A high class person can enjoy and know about NASCAR (case in point... okay, maybe not. ;) ).

Guy in the pic was "Mr. 5 Time"  Jimmie Johnson, anyway.  Not really one of my faves, but I know him because of how many bloody championships he's won in a row.

Anyway... full of fallacies, this quiz.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Rabbit of Caerbannog on April 30, 2012, 07:36:34 pm
Between 5 and 8 is what it told me.

Hey, now I remember where I heard this guy's name before. He's the asshole who co-authored The Bell Curve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bell_Curve).

EDIT: Whoops, sorry. I didn't see how old this thread was when people started posting on it again. Since I hadn't remembered this thread I thought it was new :-\
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Cataclysm on April 30, 2012, 08:15:36 pm
Quote from: Bullshit Test Results
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 0 and 4.

In other words, your bubble is so thick you may not even know you're in one.

Meh, this counts as new results I guess.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: VirtualStranger on April 30, 2012, 08:19:51 pm
Pictured here: Someone who is "fully in tune with mainstream American culture" according to this quiz.

(http://i.imgur.com/1fOgT.jpg)
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Shane for Wax on April 30, 2012, 09:22:45 pm
I'm curious to know how he even knows the Shaka. And then the second thought is: Stop using it you redneck tard.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Witchyjoshy on April 30, 2012, 09:54:16 pm
Why do the most furious nationalistic people look like they suffered brain damage as a kid?

No offense to anyone who actually has suffered brain damage.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Fpqxz on May 01, 2012, 02:18:14 am
I scored 5-8.  Which is weird, because although I'm well-educated (as are the rest of my immediate family), I'm hardly upper-class.  Hell, I'm barely even middle class.

My father was the first one in his family to go to college, and only the 3rd to graduate high school (including extended family).  He served with distinction in the U.S. Army in Vietnam (later in life, he convinced both me and my brother that the military was not a wise career choice).  I worked a bunch of shit jobs before, during, and after college.  I suffered through two lengthy spells of unemployment thanks to our shitty economy.

Does any of that sound even remotely "upper-class"?
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 01, 2012, 03:33:03 am
I scored between 5 and 8.

"In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more."

But then I'm not an American.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on May 01, 2012, 05:56:04 am
Pictured here: Someone who is "fully in tune with mainstream American culture" according to this quiz.

(http://i.imgur.com/1fOgT.jpg)

Every fiber of my being hopes that this is supposed to be ironic.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: e13 on May 01, 2012, 10:11:03 am
I got between 9 and 12! I experienced the real America! By... putting up with smokers and working in a stockroom floor that hurts my back. O........K...... ?
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: N. De Plume on May 01, 2012, 10:26:05 pm
I scored 5-8.  Which is weird, because although I'm well-educated (as are the rest of my immediate family), I'm hardly upper-class.  Hell, I'm barely even middle class.

See “classist” as described by SpaceProg above.
Title: Re: How White are you?
Post by: Normandy on May 02, 2012, 08:38:43 pm
Quote
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.

In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.
...well, that was pointless.