Okay, I need to get something out of my system. I'm sorry if this ends up an incoherent mess but I'm doing myself no favors letting this gnaw quietly on my brain. Whenever I start recovering from a virus, the remnant starts fucking with my emotions. Right now, things that barely bother me most days are making me want to cry, and this is why:
These people HATE us. HATE HATE HATE us. They would love nothing more than to see us dead, or "converted" from who we are to a personality type more in line with who they are. They completely pass over any good deeds we do and dismiss it as the work of a depraved Satan-worshiper who is hellbound regardless of their deeds. They spread LIES about how we will die sooner, how we will catch deadly diseases and die from it, and they LAUGH at us for it, even though it's patently not true. Even people who care about us don't seem to give enough of a shit to change the laws on the books, to make things more fair to us. As far as I know, I'm only going to live once, and these people are doing their damndest to ruin it for me, and everyone like me.
And then they're going to sit there and congratulate each other on how much suffering was brought on us, how they tortured us and made us miserable. They will celebrate every gay person they brainwash into hating themselves enough to convert, and pretend to be straight, being miserable but not knowing why. They're going to cheer whenever a depressed gay person commits suicide because of exactly this reason, and then they'll turn the suicide into a weapon, another talking point as to why homosexuality is wrong. And that's all we're worth to them.
And in the end, all I can do is ask... why?
What did we do to you?
And that's a rhetorical question... I know what they'll answer already. Their barbed words a poison to my very being. I know what they'll say, and even though nobody's around to say it, I can hear it anyway.
Someone just... make them go away. Please. Just make them leave us alone and let me live our life in peace...