A painting of a sailing ship being towed by steam tugs.
You get the "yo dawg" guy (whatever the fuck his name is).
Lithp bursts out of the machine, hissing and snarling, "Ssstupid popular culture, you ruinnnsss it, gollum!"
I insert QueenofHearts.
You get a tank with abandonment issues.
I insert a horse.
You get a model.
I insert the model.
You receive a quill and a life sentence for murder.
I insert the entire Andromeda galaxy.
You receive Glenn Beck's ass, and only his ass.
I insert forceps.
You get a monocle and a pile of broken glass fragments.
I insert a box of condoms.
You get a monocle and a pile of broken glass fragments.
I insert a box of condoms.
You get a box of comically small condoms that all your prospective partners see.
I insert a well thumbed copy of So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglass Addams.
You get the Guinness that used to be in the can. But no can to carry it in.
I insert a buste VCR.
You get the Guinness that used to be in the can. But no can to carry it in.
I insert a buste VCR.
You get a busted Betamax player.
I insert a rainbow.
You get back a thank-you note, signed by the original vending machine.
I insert my professors.
You get a pan made of dried, used chewing gum.
You get a melted face and a few shards of skull.
I insert a Fluttershy toy.
You get a suit of armor made of lint.
I put in chocolate pudding with gummy worms.
You get nothing in return! Have fun being naked!
I insert Excalibur from Soul Eater
You get alien crabs.
I insert space beer.
You get a headache... and the machine isn't gonna give the aspirin back to you anytime soon.
I insert the book of Revelation.
You get war, and as you know: war, war never changes.
I insert the Space Core from Portal 2.
You get General Tullius screaming in your face and demanding your head.
I insert a ball of fucks.
You get a moderately clear-headed crustacean.
I insert a box of multi-grain cereal.
You get a guy who comes out screaming "NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABANants ingonyama bagithi Baba!"
Ironbite-I insert a Deck of Many Things.
You get green eggs and ham.
I insert my headache
You get a bunch of Pawn Stars.
I insert a pun.
And we're back to a blonde wig.
You get an ocean of Jizz and mouth froth.
I insert every scat video ever made.
QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteYou get the Great Pyramid of Quotes.
You get a dirty job.
I insert the Lannisters AND the Starks.
As the last entry seems to have jammed the machine, I fish out the gun and insert Art Vandelay instead.
you get honey.
i insert a witty thought
You get a sample of factory-fresh glue.
I insert an igloo-dwelling lumberjack riding a dogsled while wielding a hockey stick and drinking maple syrup with his pet beaver.
You get yet another disturbing clopfic.
I insert the transformation gun from "El Goonish Shive", a lever of infinite length, a kitten and George W. Bush.
You get a zombie. THE DEAD WILL NEVER DIE!
I insert a zombie.
You get KHAN! (I've always wanted to use that in the right context thank you)
I insert Kyu Sakamoto.
You get forked.
I insert a human skull.
You get Podirus, scourge of cat's everywhere!
Ironbite-I insert 3 blue fish.
You get thinly-veiled liberal messages that conservatives only fail to denounce because they can't see them past the bitchin' poetry.
I insert a cat, a hat and Ironbite's thing. Yes...THAT thing.
You get a Steam key for Monaco. Why? Who knows?
I insert Doug "Homosexuality = shitting in the wrong toilet" TenNapel.
You get a note that says "Please stop inserting the thing you just gave the previous poster."
I insert a frozen mammoth carcass.
You get Michelle Bachmann's brain. It immediately grows tentacles and violates your every orifice.
I insert Jeh-fah-FAH Dun-HAM.
You get poked.
I insert a Toilet Shark.
(they may be rare, but they inhabit sewer systems worldwide. Just check before you sit down.)
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)
I insert a sguirrel pelt.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)
I insert a sguirrel pelt.
You get a Ghipmunk.
I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)
I insert a sguirrel pelt.
You get a Ghipmunk.
I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.
You get a Month of Miyazaki.You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)
I insert a sguirrel pelt.
You get a Ghipmunk.
I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.
You get Sarah Palin and Thomas Jefferson having a vicious catfight.
I insert My Neighbor Totoro.
You get a Terminator that can't decide if it wants to kill all humans or chase its own tail.You get ten T-100s.
I insert the T-1000.
You get a note from the machine that reads "Put something in next time!"
I insert a shark with frickin laser beams attached to its head.
You get the Uncanny Valley chart.You get a note from the machine that reads "Put something in next time!"
I insert a shark with frickin laser beams attached to its head.
You get a shagadelic, mod British man with bad teeth.
I insert Hetty (http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1211)
You get an electrical shock.
I insert Tyrion Lannister.
You get the Slenderman
I insert Doctor Faciller.
You get Nordic mead.You get M.C. Hammer.
I insert the hammer of Thor.
You get a pile of shredded toilet paper.You get a pile of shredded toilet paper.
I insert the 2000 election results.
You get theYou get atomic lemons.the Avatara ravenous fundie.
Edit: replied to someone else before this.
I insert lemons.
You get all of your component parts, neatly separated and labeled, in separate containers.You get a rocket propelled grenade launcher labeled "Exalted RPG"
I insert "Exalted" (the RPG).
You get Sean Bean beans.
I insert chocolate.
You get a huge drill covered in skulls.You get hentai that's also a musical.
I insert my hentai collection along with a copy of Vocaloid.
You get horrible,horrible things.
I insert my musical hentai, black lingerie, a bunch of chains and gloves.
Granted, you get some horrid thing made of flames and body parts with blood leaking out.You get a milkmaid that never, ever stops singing, and quickly dies of dehydration and starvation.
I insert my "milkmaid" and a copy of Vocaloid.
You get Bart Simpson telling you not to have a cow.You get pummeled with a pipe.
I insert a pummel pipe.
You get Bart Simpson telling you not to have a cow.You get pummeled with a pipe.
I insert a pummel pipe.
I insert the Bible.
The vending machine screams in terror.You get Bart Simpson telling you not to have a cow.You get pummeled with a pipe.
I insert a pummel pipe.
I insert the Bible.
You get the Koran.
I insert Gomez Addams.
You get an ever-growing quote pyramid.You get a rotting pit bull from Germany that knew how to herd sheep.
I insert a rottweiler, a pit bull and a German shepherd.
You get a sponge, filled with water and frozen solid, sitting on a throne. it's name is Bob.
I insert some sauerkraut, six soft pretzels, and two pints of beer.
You get a book so funny it causes the Laughterapolocalyse.You get a ham and cheese smoothie.
I insert a ham and cheese sandwich and a smoothie.
You get a Mobius loop.You get a beam of light to the face. Everything you see is now Twilight related.
I insert every copy of every Twilight-related material ever. In the world.
You get two older and even shittier computers.You get fired for losing it all.
I insert all the paperwork from my job.
You get trampled to death by fifty bucks (as in, deer).
I insert a baby chimpanzee, a wolf cub and a tiger cub.
You get the Bat-Nipples.You get an amazing singer that's pretty attractive, but can't emote correctly.
I insert David Bowie, Elton John and Mr. Spock.
You get a nuclear bomb.
I insert the Lyra Plushie. Yes, that one.
You get a phaser somebody carelessly dropped on one of them.You get laid.
I insert my ex-girlfriend.
You get a combination of the hottest girls and the oldest people on the planet.You get arrested for attempted rape and kidnapping
I insert a hot Brazilian girl.
You get some crazy guy holding a "The End is near" sign.You get a combination of the hottest girls and the oldest people on the planet.You get arrested for attempted rape and kidnapping
I insert a hot Brazilian girl.
I insert The Bible
You get a unicorn.
I insert a hot unicorn furry.
You get a computer virus.You get a bunch of white people.
I insert a box of crackers.
You get an explosion from the fact-checker getting overloaded.You get slapped for being dumb enough to buy bottled water.
I insert a bottle of water.
You get a woman from 2 000 years ago from an East Germanic tribe of people known as Ostrogoths.You get McDonalds' Apple Pie.
I insert delicious apple strudels.
You get the hammer Mjolnir and are unworthy to wield it.You get trampled by fangirls.
I insert Loki.
You get the hammer Mjolnir and are unworthy to wield it.You get trampled by fangirls.
I insert Loki.
I insert the Vending Machine.
You get a sample of factory-fresh glue.
I insert an igloo-dwelling lumberjack riding a dogsled while wielding a hockey stick and drinking maple syrup with his pet beaver.
You get a human smoothie.
I insert a pig.
You get kittens who all demand cheezeburgers.You get a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.
I insert a tube of lipstick.
You get slips of paper with arbitrarily-assigned value.
I insert the anime "Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water"
You get told that you did in fact start the fire.
I insert ice.
You get Barney R34.
I insert failure.
You get a flamewar.
I insert a bottle of sleeping pills.
You get a cat that pukes on everything you love.
I insert an old meme.
You get Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
I insert a stomachache.
You get cyanide.
You get his cover of "Born This Way".
I insert a college diploma.
You get Canadians in their bathing suits.
I insert the internet.
You get the anthropomorphic personification of FSTDT. It eats your face.
I insert hentai.
You get the weirdest, most horrible example of R34 you've ever seen.
I insert an episode of Mythbusters.
You get a bunch of BABIES! ENTIRE PARTY IS BABIES!
Ironbite-I insert this...random CD I have in my CD/Alarm Clock/Radio.
You get a mildly terrifying show some kid's grandma might accidentally buy them for their birthday.
I insert three lions and one Hitler.
You get Motherfucking Cthulhu. Specifically, your mother.You get a mug of Butterbeer.
I insert a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
You get a wild beast.[DATA REDACTED UNDER 05 ORDERS] containment has yet to be reestablished.
I insert the most twisted fantasies of the most twisted shippers of all time.
You get the I Like Trains Kid from asdfmovie3.(http://static.planetminecraft.com/files/resource_media/screenshot/1341/minecraft_creeper_6520440_lrg.jpg)
I insert Mine Turtle.
You get ear orgasms (I like Ok Go...a lot)So many eyeballs...
I insert one of the patients from the Creepypasta Russian Sleep Experiment.
You get Ironchew.
I insert a juggalo and someone who knows how magnets work.
You get the Sonic 06 goons.
I insert Ultie and give the machine a kick.
You get an arrow to the knee.
I insert the "woman laughing with salad" meme.
You get Buffy Summers staking Edward Cullen. The world rejoices.You get the corpse of a Redditer who is missing most organs and a tumblrite suffering multiple stab wounds to the gut.
I insert an MRA and a Radfem at the same time.
You get a boot to the head for choosing an obscure pop culture reference.
I insert Godzilla.
You get a huge pile of ashes and the world's largest bug zapper.
I insert some gay porn.
You get a nerd who rants about how Vampires are responsible for everything.
I insert my tongue and one of my many neoplasms.
The vending machine gets explosive diarrhea.
I insert a dose of Pepto Bismol.
You get a troll that fails at trolling
I insert my namesake.
You get Dragonball Evolution. Sorry.
I insert FATAL
I LIVE!!!!!
I insert myself.
You get the Killer Rabbit of Caernabog! Good luck with that.
I insert the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!
You get a bottle of coke.
I put in an aspirin.
You get shocked by pikachu.
I insert caffeine pills.
You get the endpoint to that portal, directly above you. All the stuff that was previously inserted into the vending machine falls out of it and crushes you.
I insert the Kama Sutra.
You get Menasor and he's not very happy. Well he's never very happy but you get the drift
Ironbite-I insert a giant robot made of planes.
The vending machine looks at you and says "FUCKING REALLY?!?!"
I insert a Coke.
You get a Dominos pizza.
I insert used motor oil.
You get ISIS (the terrorists), and really, were you expecting anything else?
You get a sexually questioning teenage boy.
I insert myself.
You get royally pissed off when you realise you're not getting it back.
I insert a dead horse.
You get Robert Shaw and Roy Schneider.
I insert one of the old 50s films they'd show in schools about how you're supposed to hide under your desk in the event of a nuclear bomb.
You get Satan playing heavy metal.
I insert a dead body.
You get a box of one dozen starving crazed weasels.
I insert Richard Nixon.
You get a portrait of Elvis Presley on black velvet.
I insert a sparkling effeminate angsty Twilight vampire.
You get an asteroid lodged in Uranus.
I insert a 30 year old Hot Wheels toy car.