FSTDT Forums

Rubbish => Preaching and Worship => Topic started by: Jacob Harrison on August 23, 2018, 09:30:54 am

Title: Great news
Post by: Jacob Harrison on August 23, 2018, 09:30:54 am
I discovered a Catholic dating site, so in the future I can find a Catholic wife who will have a child that I can raise to be the successor of my secret organization on restoring the rightful heir to England’s throne. Because the Catholic Church opposes divorce, she won’t be able to divorce me and have a custody battle.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: dpareja on August 23, 2018, 10:21:49 am
Sure she can divorce you. It's called THE LAW, which looks at your religion's positions on the matter, laughs, and gives zero fucks.

I hope you end up with an atheist wife who values democracy, secularism, and civil liberties, hates theocracy and authoritarianism, and who's using that website to troll ignoramuses like you.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Art Vandelay on August 23, 2018, 10:28:10 am
I hope you end up with an atheist wife who values democracy, secularism, and civil liberties, hates theocracy and authoritarianism, and who's using that website to troll ignoramuses like you.
Dude, what did that poor woman ever do to you?
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Jacob Harrison on August 23, 2018, 11:24:32 am
Sure she can divorce you. It's called THE LAW, which looks at your religion's positions on the matter, laughs, and gives zero fucks.

I hope you end up with an atheist wife who values democracy, secularism, and civil liberties, hates theocracy and authoritarianism, and who's using that website to troll ignoramuses like you.

I know that but her religion of Catholicism will forbid her from getting a divorce.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: dpareja on August 23, 2018, 11:34:23 am
You're assuming that a) she's actually Catholic and b) that she'd take her religion at all seriously.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Jacob Harrison on August 23, 2018, 04:22:36 pm
You're assuming that a) she's actually Catholic and b) that she'd take her religion at all seriously.

Well if I meet her on a Catholic dating site of all places, then she most likely is a devout Catholic searching for a Catholic husband.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: ironbite on August 23, 2018, 05:12:29 pm
God that's not even how that works you dumb ass fuck.

Ironbite-just...go back to fantasizing about your second cousin ok?
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on August 23, 2018, 06:16:36 pm
I think if a woman really felt that she couldn't divorce you after the knot was tied then she'd have even more of an incentive never to go near that knot in the first place.

Or she'd just do what most Catholics do when faced with ethical conundrums, church, confession, money in the plate, three Hail Mary's-then divorce the shit out of you.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: davedan on August 23, 2018, 06:57:34 pm
I think when the priest heard about the society and the forced insemination, they'd grant her an annulment.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Jacob Harrison on August 23, 2018, 07:15:45 pm
I think if a woman really felt that she couldn't divorce you after the knot was tied then she'd have even more of an incentive never to go near that knot in the first place.

Or she'd just do what most Catholics do when faced with ethical conundrums, church, confession, money in the plate, three Hail Mary's-then divorce the shit out of you.

Well before I marry her, I won’t tell her about the society I plan on founding. So by the time we are married it will be too late. And given that being divorced would be a lifelong sin, she will not go through with it in fear of damnation.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Jacob Harrison on August 23, 2018, 07:17:19 pm
I think when the priest heard about the society and the forced insemination, they'd grant her an annulment.

First of all, me and my wife will have consensual sex, not a forced insemination, and I don’t see how my society is grounds for annulment.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on August 23, 2018, 11:16:24 pm
I think if a woman really felt that she couldn't divorce you after the knot was tied then she'd have even more of an incentive never to go near that knot in the first place.

Or she'd just do what most Catholics do when faced with ethical conundrums, church, confession, money in the plate, three Hail Mary's-then divorce the shit out of you.

Well before I marry her, I won’t tell her about the society I plan on founding. So by the time we are married it will be too late. And given that being divorced would be a lifelong sin, she will not go through with it in fear of damnation.
"Hey babe, now that we're married I plan to kidnap a child and subvert democracy-we cool?"

Plenty of Catholics do divorce despite the church's condemnations (https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/as-vatican-revisits-divorce-many-catholics-long-for-acceptance.html), I think they'd divorce you with no fucks to give and keep going to church and stuffing palm leaves in their car glove box every palm Sunday. Keeping in mind by that time they already know about the denim fetish and the conspiracy theories.

Another batshit plan this time relying on you marrying a woman (already, not bloody likely) on the basis of a lie and her being sweet with it forever. Still, you haven't worked out this whole "human beings" thing have you?
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Jacob Harrison on August 24, 2018, 08:34:51 am
I think if a woman really felt that she couldn't divorce you after the knot was tied then she'd have even more of an incentive never to go near that knot in the first place.

Or she'd just do what most Catholics do when faced with ethical conundrums, church, confession, money in the plate, three Hail Mary's-then divorce the shit out of you.

Well before I marry her, I won’t tell her about the society I plan on founding. So by the time we are married it will be too late. And given that being divorced would be a lifelong sin, she will not go through with it in fear of damnation.
"Hey babe, now that we're married I plan to kidnap a child and subvert democracy-we cool?"

Plenty of Catholics do divorce despite the church's condemnations (https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/as-vatican-revisits-divorce-many-catholics-long-for-acceptance.html), I think they'd divorce you with no fucks to give and keep going to church and stuffing palm leaves in their car glove box every palm Sunday. Keeping in mind by that time they already know about the denim fetish and the conspiracy theories.

Another batshit plan this time relying on you marrying a woman (already, not bloody likely) on the basis of a lie and her being sweet with it forever. Still, you haven't worked out this whole "human beings" thing have you?

But she will not want to be excluded from partaking in Communion. I will easily be able to get married by going on the Catholic dating site, finding a partner, going on dates, act like a cool guy, and eventually propose to her. While she will be upset once I reveal my master plan, it will be too late.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: ironbite on August 24, 2018, 09:16:08 am
I think if a woman really felt that she couldn't divorce you after the knot was tied then she'd have even more of an incentive never to go near that knot in the first place.

Or she'd just do what most Catholics do when faced with ethical conundrums, church, confession, money in the plate, three Hail Mary's-then divorce the shit out of you.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Askold on August 24, 2018, 12:05:28 pm
I'm just going to point out that if you mistreat a Catholic woman or simply turn out to be a disgusting, horrible person she may get a divorce anyway.

Which will mean that you by your own actions caused a person to lose their faith and go against its teachings.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Jacob Harrison on August 24, 2018, 12:08:47 pm
I'm just going to point out that if you mistreat a Catholic woman or simply turn out to be a disgusting, horrible person she may get a divorce anyway.

Which will mean that you by your own actions caused a person to lose their faith and go against its teachings.

But I won’t mistreat her. I will treat her very well.
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on August 24, 2018, 06:07:11 pm
....act like a cool guy...

There was a glimmer of self awareness there, just a glimmer, but it was there.


But I won’t mistreat her. I will treat her very well.

Using deception and misdirection to screw with someone's mind and emotions from the get go in order to rope them into your diabolical schemes is not "treating her well," you denim snow dropping psychopath!
Title: Re: Great news
Post by: dpareja on August 25, 2018, 01:09:01 am
Why can I see Jakey-boy acting like the manager in this story? https://notalwaysright.com/should-have-ignored-the-biblical-signs/119521/