Author Topic: Things That Annoy You  (Read 2024206 times)

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Offline nickiknack

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #975 on: April 15, 2012, 07:43:10 pm »
Finding a massive fucking turd in the centre of the aid station.

Perhaps I should backtrack a little, you might want some context for this one. I work on a paintball field. It's pretty much in the boonies and there's no security on site, so we leave nothing there and operate out of a shipping container. Out on the bush field, there's a building I where I'm located while games are running; the aid station. It's got no doors and can't be secured, so we're often cleaning out broken bottles, there's graffiti all over the walls, and it's generally fucking swarming with mosquitoes. Not usually mounds of shit.

My first clue is the sound of buzzing flies before I'm even inside, and then the smell hits me. My gorge is already rising before I'm in the building. I step inside and sure enough, right in the centre of the floor, is a smooth, flat mound of shit that's probably about the size of my hand. Setting the box I'm carrying on the bench, I consider the surprise addition to my morning. I doubt it was left by an animal; it's too big, and we've never had any problem with animals over the several years we've been running.

So I grab myself some surgical gloves from the first aid kit, a roll of toilet paper we use for cleaning goggles, and set to work cleaning up what I can only assume to be the leavings of the latest drunken arsehole to wander through my little corner of the world. For your edification, I'll let you know that it wasn't hardened and dry, as I'd first thought. Nope, that son of a bitch was still nice and gooey on the inside, with a bonus helping of little maggots desperate to make friends with my fingers.

To cut an increasingly long story short; the offending matter is safely transferred to a plastic bag, my hands are washed many, many times with hand sanitizer, and my faith in my fellow man shrivels that little bit more. I am another day closer to being a burnt out, hateful husk of a man, sustained only by my contempt for the kind of degenerate who takes a shit in someone's place of business.

I hope you've had as much fun reading my soliloquy of shit as much I had living it. And to whomever despoiled my aid station, I wish upon you a bout of the most painful, drawn out dysentery ever inflicted upon a man.

That is something that annoys me.

I know how you feel, people sometimes decide to use the fitting rooms as a bathroom

Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #976 on: April 16, 2012, 10:47:22 am »
When I wake up early and can't get back to sleep on my day off. :\
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Offline Sleepy

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #977 on: April 16, 2012, 11:26:40 am »
I think I heard my professor say something about our newest professor no longer wanting to teach here next semester. If that's true, I'm gonna have a fucking stroke, as I've been looking forward to that professor and that class for awhile now. I'm not positive she said that, but it's bugging me now.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline nickiknack

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #978 on: April 16, 2012, 11:59:38 am »
That I had to call my bank company, because I never recieved a new credit card, and my current one expires next month. First off, I was on hold for at least 20 minutes, waiting to talk to someone. Second I come to find out they sent me one last month, I just never got it, WTF?? So I not only asked for them to send me a new one, but I also got a new account number just in case, even though they told me that new card was never activated. And when/if I get the new card, I not only have to activate it, but I have to change all of my credit card information at all of the online stores I shop at, and I hope I get it, because I have a comic book on pre-order...

« Last Edit: April 16, 2012, 12:02:45 pm by nickiknack »

Offline Jebediah

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #979 on: April 16, 2012, 04:10:51 pm »
It's the first time I've worn a white shirt in years and I some how managed to get a giant orange stain on it. I don't even know where the stain is from.
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Offline SimSim

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #980 on: April 16, 2012, 04:47:14 pm »
So that's where that orange I threw went.

Mondays annoy me ever so. The weekend is never long enough, and I work with the biggest waste of oxygen and human genetic material on Mondays.

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #981 on: April 16, 2012, 05:21:27 pm »
I actually get the gumption to do homework and the site is failing. -_-
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #982 on: April 16, 2012, 06:41:45 pm »
Just got rejected for a job at Chik-fil-A. Yeah, that's exactly the kind of morale booster I needed after over a year of unemployment... >_>
Her3tik, you have groupies.
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Offline Shane for Wax

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #983 on: April 17, 2012, 02:50:41 am »
If it helps, they're pretty fundie and treat their workers like absolute shit. You're better off.

&
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Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #984 on: April 17, 2012, 04:51:18 am »
The fact that I always seem to be wide awake on nights before I have to get up early for work.
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Offline Smurfette Principle

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #985 on: April 17, 2012, 01:26:50 pm »
I have a mouth ulcer (canker sore) on the inside of my lower lip. I've been treating it with baking soda, but it's pretty big and very swollen and painful.

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #986 on: April 17, 2012, 02:52:01 pm »
Finding a massive fucking turd in the centre of the aid station.

Perhaps I should backtrack a little, you might want some context for this one. I work on a paintball field. It's pretty much in the boonies and there's no security on site, so we leave nothing there and operate out of a shipping container. Out on the bush field, there's a building I where I'm located while games are running; the aid station. It's got no doors and can't be secured, so we're often cleaning out broken bottles, there's graffiti all over the walls, and it's generally fucking swarming with mosquitoes. Not usually mounds of shit.

My first clue is the sound of buzzing flies before I'm even inside, and then the smell hits me. My gorge is already rising before I'm in the building. I step inside and sure enough, right in the centre of the floor, is a smooth, flat mound of shit that's probably about the size of my hand. Setting the box I'm carrying on the bench, I consider the surprise addition to my morning. I doubt it was left by an animal; it's too big, and we've never had any problem with animals over the several years we've been running.

So I grab myself some surgical gloves from the first aid kit, a roll of toilet paper we use for cleaning goggles, and set to work cleaning up what I can only assume to be the leavings of the latest drunken arsehole to wander through my little corner of the world. For your edification, I'll let you know that it wasn't hardened and dry, as I'd first thought. Nope, that son of a bitch was still nice and gooey on the inside, with a bonus helping of little maggots desperate to make friends with my fingers.

To cut an increasingly long story short; the offending matter is safely transferred to a plastic bag, my hands are washed many, many times with hand sanitizer, and my faith in my fellow man shrivels that little bit more. I am another day closer to being a burnt out, hateful husk of a man, sustained only by my contempt for the kind of degenerate who takes a shit in someone's place of business.

I hope you've had as much fun reading my soliloquy of shit as much I had living it. And to whomever despoiled my aid station, I wish upon you a bout of the most painful, drawn out dysentery ever inflicted upon a man.

That is something that annoys me.

I'm no longer sure I'll ever be able to complain about my job again without finding a turd in my cube.

Offline SimSim

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #987 on: April 17, 2012, 04:45:12 pm »
My glutes are so sore. It hurts to walk and it hurts to sit.

Offline TheL

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #988 on: April 17, 2012, 06:28:39 pm »
I have a mouth ulcer (canker sore) on the inside of my lower lip. I've been treating it with baking soda, but it's pretty big and very swollen and painful.

I've found that L-lysine also helps it heal a wee bit faster.
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Offline nickiknack

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Re: Things That Annoy You
« Reply #989 on: April 17, 2012, 07:53:46 pm »
When bad mouth people who still live with their parents