Controversy Over Surrogate Mother

[Sleepy]

This story really left me angry. A couple agreed to have a surrogate carry their child, and during the pregnancy, a doctor detected several fetal abnormalities with an ultrasound. They were so severe that the medical staff recommended that the surrogate terminate the pregnancy, but she refused. The couple pleaded with her to have an abortion so the child wouldn't suffer, but the woman still refused. She ended up moving to Michigan where she would be considered the child's legal guardian, and gave birth to it. Unsurprisingly, the poor kid was born with severe defects.

Baby S was born with a panoply of issues, including holoprosencephaly, which means the brain fails to completely divide into distinct hemispheres, and heterotaxy, which means many of her internal organs are in the wrong places. She also has a misshapen ear and many complex heart problems.

Then, when the surrogate realized she couldn't raise this poor baby as a single mom, she put her up for adoption. Nice, huh? She's selfish enough to give birth to the child, saying, "I knew from the beginning that this little girl had an amazing fighting spirit, and whatever challenges were thrown at her, she would go at them with every ounce of spirit that she could possibly have." Um, no. You can say that all you want, but the fact is that this poor child has already had three surgeries and possibly needs more to give her a chance of surviving. And if she survives, she'll still be severely disabled. It's a fucking baby, and it's really, really shitty to bring that baby into this world expecting it to face such severe medical problems. No matter how much you try to dress it up, it's still a baby who is suffering quite needlessly.

I understand that it was the woman's right not to terminate the pregnancy since it's her body, her choice, but god dammit, she made a terrible decision and now the poor child has to suffer because of it. I can barely stand to look at the picture of the child, it's so heart-breaking.

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/what-are-a-surrogate-s-rights--ct-woman--211138554.html

[RinellaWasHere]

She has a right to make a choice. She made the wrong one.

[syaoranvee]

When Kelley would not agree to abort, according to CNN, she says the couple offered her $10,000 to reconsider. Kelley refused, instead asking for $15,000; the couple would not pay that much, and Kelley said she had changed her mind anyway.

That's nice.

[shykid]

Then, when the surrogate realized she couldn't raise this poor baby as a single mom, she put her up for adoption.

Reminds me of people who want a pet, but then they figure out that pets have needs, so they abandon it or give it to the animal shelter.

Doing that to animals is disgusting. Doing it to humans is beyond words. "Disgusting" doesn't even begin to describe what I think of this.

[Sleepy]

When Kelley would not agree to abort, according to CNN, she says the couple offered her $10,000 to reconsider. Kelley refused, instead asking for $15,000; the couple would not pay that much, and Kelley said she had changed her mind anyway.

That's nice.

Mature, isn't she? Using the life of a child to gain an extra $5000.

[ThunderWulf]

Wow. She honestly sounds like a TOTAL bitch.

[Dakota Bob]

Getting waterboarded would be too good for this bitch.

[nickiknack]

Is it wrong that I want to punch this lady??
Especially given that she wanted more money from the couple for an abortion, and that she dumped the poor kid once she figured out it was going to be not so easy raising the kid. People like this seriously piss me off.

[Osama bin Bambi]

Is it wrong that I want to punch this lady??
Especially given that she wanted more money from the couple for an abortion, and that she dumped the poor kid once she figured out it was going to be not so easy raising the kid. People like this seriously piss me off.

Yeah, it couldn't have been anything but emotional blackmail and extortion. Abortions aren't cheap, but there's no way they're that expensive.

[JohnE]

This may not be a popular opinion and I'm open to being convinced otherwise but: Don't you give up some of your right to say, "My body, my choice," when you agree to carry someone else's baby? (especially if you're getting paid for it)

[Sleepy]

This may not be a popular opinion and I'm open to being convinced otherwise but: Don't you give up some of your right to say, "My body, my choice," when you agree to carry someone else's baby? (especially if you're getting paid for it)

That's what I was wondering. The contract says that she'd agreed to abort in the case of "severe fetus abnormality", but that it wasn't legally binding. If you're going to be a surrogate, you really need to follow the terms of the contract. You have to be willing to terminate the pregnancy in such an instance. Otherwise, you shouldn't be doing it.

[Itachirumon]

... holoprosencephaly... pretty sure that the kid in the bed next to me at UCSF when I had the EDAS procedure for my Moyamoya had that...at least that's what I get from what mom said, that "he just had one large mass of brain, there wasn't a left or a right brain, they had to go in and form it semi-manually" He was my age, so about 3, my question to this day is how was he even able to live 'that' long without specialized lobe functions. It must have only been partial and only to the point that Higher cognitive functions were affected (he could basically only scream). I wonder how severe it was in this case...

[MiriamM]

This must be what pro-lifers feel like when being confronted with pro-choice arguments for bodily autonomy. "But she's making the WRONG CHOICE!"

What if the wants of the surrogate and the biological parents were reversed - the surrogate wanted to have an abortion, but the biological parents were against it and the contract had decreed that the biological parents have final say? I know I would be defending the surrogate's right to decide on the basis of "my body, my choice", and would insist that any contract to surrender such a fundamental right is invalid.

What if the fetus had had a mild disability or anomaly - say, Klinefelter's? I'd be thinking the parents were asshats for wanting to abort, and again, the surrogate's choice should trump any contract. Based on the story, many of the defects were not apparent in the ultrasound.

With these in mind, I really think such contract should be invalid, and the surrogate's choice respected, even when I think she's making the wrong one. The surrogate, while within her rights, should have thought things through beforehand; but that's unfortunate thoughtlessness and naïvete, not rageworthy malice.

[Distind]

There's plenty of legal precidence for giving up your rights within a contract. I mean look at any company that requires independent arbitration rather than actual legal action.

[Yaezakura]

This must be what pro-lifers feel like when being confronted with pro-choice arguments for bodily autonomy. "But she's making the WRONG CHOICE!"

What if the wants of the surrogate and the biological parents were reversed - the surrogate wanted to have an abortion, but the biological parents were against it and the contract had decreed that the biological parents have final say? I know I would be defending the surrogate's right to decide on the basis of "my body, my choice", and would insist that any contract to surrender such a fundamental right is invalid.

What if the fetus had had a mild disability or anomaly - say, Klinefelter's? I'd be thinking the parents were asshats for wanting to abort, and again, the surrogate's choice should trump any contract. Based on the story, many of the defects were not apparent in the ultrasound.

With these in mind, I really think such contract should be invalid, and the surrogate's choice respected, even when I think she's making the wrong one. The surrogate, while within her rights, should have thought things through beforehand; but that's unfortunate thoughtlessness and naïvete, not rageworthy malice.

The only way for "surrogate's choice" to matter against a contract is if the surrogate has to then reimburse the other people the entire cost of the procedures done to start the pregnancy. We're talking about thousands of dollars in expenses to start a surrogate pregnancy--that should not be able to be flushed down the tube because the surrogate changes her mind and so suddenly the contract doesn't mean anything.