Author Topic: Hill haggis survive gales.  (Read 10857 times)

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Offline shadowpanther

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Hill haggis survive gales.
« on: January 10, 2012, 09:56:53 am »
Haggis hunt still on!

Quote
GALE-force winds have failed to blow the haggis from Selkirk Hill and the traditional January hunt will go ahead as planned.

Head hunter Jimmy Linton told us: “The Hill haggis are indeed a hardy breed. In recent years they have survived prolonged snow and temperatures that would have done nasty things to brass monkeys. But our scouting parties have braved the gales and returned with the news that haggis numbers are exceptionally high, so the Town Arms Great Selkirk Haggis Hunt of 2012 promises to be one of the best."

Well this is excellent news. The weather really has been terrible up there. And getting haggis from a traditional hunt on the hillside is  much better than supporting those damn haggis battery farms.

I don't suppose anyone's in the border region in few weeks? There's nothing quite like a fresh hill caught haggis.
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Offline Undecided

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2012, 12:14:51 pm »
How many haggis could a drop bear eat,
if the critters were ever to meet?
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Offline ironbite

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2012, 12:39:47 pm »
Wait a second here

Ironbite-how does one...hunt haggis?

Offline Canadian Mojo

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2012, 12:56:02 pm »
Wait a second here

Ironbite-how does one...hunt haggis?
With trained snipe. It's a lot like hunting with hounds, but since those were limited to being used by the royalty, the Scots had to improvise and use snipes instead.

Offline disgruntledcolonel

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2012, 05:30:20 pm »
Indeed, there's nothing like a snipe for hunting down the wild hill haggis, they leave hounds trailing in their wake,  I hear good things about this year's vintage, so might get some laid down en primeur.    Like any other meat, there's no comparison between the free range haggis and their battery farmed brethren.
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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2012, 10:31:01 am »
I hate it when they are hunted by lazy types with 12 bores. It's a devil to get the pellets out before cooking the haggis - but if you leave them in, they can play havoc with the dentition.

I hear that the wild haggis can be lulled almost to a state of catatonia by the skirling of the pipes, so when hunting, it is always a good idea to take a piper.
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Offline Sixth Monarchist

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2012, 04:36:11 pm »
I hate it when they are hunted by lazy types with 12 bores. It's a devil to get the pellets out before cooking the haggis - but if you leave them in, they can play havoc with the dentition.

With a railgun, you can a) make sure the bullet's out beforehand, and b) at least part-cook the thing. Also possibly c) distribute it around the neighbourhood, and all of this with just the one accurate shot. Definitely a method to consider.


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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2012, 09:29:23 am »
I once tried tickling for haggis in a trout steam. Didn't manage to catch any of the slippery little buggers, though. Maybe I should have tried a haggis stream.
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2012, 01:26:30 pm »
I once tried tickling for haggis in a trout steam. Didn't manage to catch any of the slippery little buggers, though. Maybe I should have tried a haggis stream.

Oh no. You don't want to get one in the water. They rarely swim, but when they do, it gets pretty violent. With the legs on one side being shorter than the others, they swim in circles and create giant whirlpools.

And all this talk of guns is really unsportsmanlike. The real way to hunt haggis is with a claymore, and not the land mine type. A battleaxe or club is fine too.

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2012, 01:32:22 pm »
And all this talk of guns is really unsportsmanlike. The real way to hunt haggis is with a claymore, and not the land mine type. A battleaxe or club is fine too.

I understand that that is how golf got started - clubbing haggis so they flew through the air.
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Offline shadowpanther

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2012, 01:44:46 pm »
Now see, I was planning on making a shortbow or possible a full sized longbow to complement my haggis net.
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Offline Canadian Mojo

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #11 on: January 12, 2012, 02:47:24 pm »
And all this talk of guns is really unsportsmanlike. The real way to hunt haggis is with a claymore, and not the land mine type. A battleaxe or club is fine too.
Is that a lowland regional thing? My grandfather insisted that the proper technique was after the snipe chase the haggis to ground you lure it out with a bowl filled with a good single malt (if you use blended it takes a lot longer). When the haggis comes out the sequins on your ball gown will blind it. While it is stunned you throw a caber at it.

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2012, 10:14:48 am »
That's a lot of tosh spewed out for the tourists. The only way a True Scotsmanâ„¢ would deign to stun a sozzled haggis is by a frontal raising of the kilt.
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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2012, 10:22:55 am »
My dad apparently is terrible at hunting haggis even tho the poor dears can only run so far. I told him to trap one that can only go counterclockwise cause of its legs but he didn't listen.

I had a haggis run into me headlong and I used my dirk to pin it to the ground before snapping its wee neck.

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Offline rosenewock21

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Re: Hill haggis survive gales.
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2012, 01:22:17 pm »
Indeed, there's nothing like a snipe for hunting down the wild hill haggis, they leave hounds trailing in their wake,  I hear good things about this year's vintage, so might get some laid down en primeur.    Like any other meat, there's no comparison between the free range haggis and their battery farmed brethren.



Remember to get a properly trained snipe. If it's still got its fledgling cuff it will be more likely to eat the haggis itself than bring it back.
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Lithp and Vene really need to have some kind of confusing sexual encounter where Vene spends the entire session lovingly insulting Lithp's technique, then cums on his face, ruffles his hair, says, "You're all right, kid!", and then punches him in the nuts.