FSTDT Forums

Rubbish => Preaching and Worship => Topic started by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 20, 2018, 05:17:18 pm

Title: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 20, 2018, 05:17:18 pm
Jacob worries (http://forums.fstdt.net/index.php?topic=8057.0) that this (http://forums.fstdt.net/index.php?topic=7905.0)  thread will become public knowledge. I have a solution.

This weekend, me and my family went on Vacation in my grandparent’s summer home on Cape Cod, a peninsula in Massachusetts with lots of summer homes and beaches. Unfortunetely the weather was not good enough to go swimming.

My 21 year old second cousin who I have barely ever seen in my life is staying there the whole summer because she has a summer job on Cape Cod. She is overall a very decent moral person however on Sunday she did one thing that was very immoral.

On Sunday, when my dad went home because of having to work during the week, and my grandparents were at some party at the house of one of my grandfather’s cousins, me and my mom came home from a baseball game. And my cousin said hi to us while wearing nothing but towels. If she was coming out of the shower, why the fuck did she not put clothes in the bathroom for her to get changed into before coming out of the shower?! Why did she not keep in mind that there are relatives of hers that are not her parents or siblings in the fucking house?! I immediately looked away and walked down into the basement where my bedroom there is.

I on the other hand was much more moral and cautious knowing that there was a women relative close to my age in the house. In the mornings, I made sure that she would not even see me in my pajamas by having a goal to take a shower and get in my day clothes before breakfast. On all the mornings, she was up before me, so I would stay in the basement, until she went to work. The bathroom was upstairs so I even held in my pee for such torturous long time that I was tempted to piss in empty water bottles in the basement.

Thankfully, me and my mom are leaving to go home tomorrow. Don’t worry, I do not have any degenerate sexual thoughts about her since she is too closely related since today’s definition of incest extends to 1st and 2nd cousins(influenced by the studies of inbreeding and genetic disorders). I was just shocked and revolted.

PRESERVED IN AMBER, COUSIN FAPPER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 20, 2018, 05:46:00 pm
Well those who see the post still won’t know that I am the author of the book so that post won’t become famous.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 20, 2018, 05:59:47 pm
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 20, 2018, 06:05:17 pm
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: davedan on September 20, 2018, 06:27:39 pm
Let me guess your pseudonym will be Harris Jacobson.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 20, 2018, 06:43:41 pm
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.
Well, you'd better go about deleting your account here then. What are you waiting for?
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 20, 2018, 06:46:57 pm
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.
Well, you'd better go about deleting your account here then. What are you waiting for?

I will be a long time before that happens because it will take a while to write the book.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 20, 2018, 07:26:40 pm
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 20, 2018, 07:52:46 pm
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.

I do have a good memory.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 20, 2018, 08:17:23 pm
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.

I do have a good memory.
Remember 'oink?'

The internet is forever, Jacob.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 20, 2018, 08:22:43 pm
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.

I do have a good memory.
Remember 'oink?'

The internet is forever, Jacob.

Nobody is able to see that video anymore since it’s deleted.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 20, 2018, 09:51:54 pm
But everyone remembers, forever Jacob. For ever!
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 21, 2018, 12:51:06 am
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.

Hey Jakey. Did you know about the Wayback Machine (https://archive.org/web/)? It's a website that allows you to browse other sites as they were in the past. So even if you delete your account, people will still be able to access it and pretty much everything you said, and they most definitely will be able to verify that Tol's quote did indeed come from you.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 21, 2018, 07:39:47 am
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.

Hey Jakey. Did you know about the Wayback Machine (https://archive.org/web/)? It's a website that allows you to browse other sites as they were in the past. So even if you delete your account, people will still be able to access it and pretty much everything you said, and they most definitely will be able to verify that Tol's quote did indeed come from you.

I checked that site and the last time this site was archived was April 21, which was before I came here. But to prevent my posts from being archived, I better delete my account quickly. So goodbye Fstdt people. My final question is does deleting an account delete all the posts made by the account?
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 21, 2018, 07:40:31 am
But everyone remembers, forever Jacob. For ever!

The only people who will remember are the people who saw my posts which is you guys.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: The_Queen on September 21, 2018, 08:13:40 am
So, did he boink his cousin or not?
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: ironbite on September 21, 2018, 09:09:29 am
No.  She made fun of his tiny penis and then went back to being a lesbian because nobody can compete with niam.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 21, 2018, 11:30:17 am
Now I have another dilemma. Yesterday I sent an email to one of the FSTDT mods on the main site, asking if the mods will agree to not reveal to the world that I am the author of the book to prevent the quote about my second cousin from becoming famous, but she didn't respond. So now I am worried that the mods might reveal the truth to the world and the post will become famous.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: The_Queen on September 21, 2018, 11:47:12 am
No.  She made fun of his tiny penis and then went back to being a lesbian because nobody can compete with niam.

Well, this thread has been... anticlimactic.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 21, 2018, 12:09:46 pm
I realized that a lot of people on FSTDT saw my posts about who the true heir is, so if the book is published, my FSTDT quotes may be revealed to the world anyway. So maybe I should make a youtube animation instead of a book since the animation would become less famous. Darn it, if I didn't make that post about my second cousin, I could have made good money off of the book.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 21, 2018, 12:16:28 pm
You go through "true heirs" like Niam and your cousin go through condoms, so needless to say, you wouldn't get even a single chapter done before deciding it should be another one of the pricks because reasons.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Skybison on September 22, 2018, 02:17:57 am
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 22, 2018, 03:59:01 am
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.

But my second cousin and her side of the family would be pissed about the post about her immoral behavoir.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on September 22, 2018, 04:24:50 am
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.

But my second cousin and her side of the family would be pissed about the post about her immoral behavoir.
So you haven't asked dad for her hand in marriage yet?
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: The_Queen on September 22, 2018, 11:13:11 pm
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.

But my second cousin and her side of the family would be pissed about the post about her immoral behavoir.
So you haven't asked dad for her hand in marriage yet?

Oh, so he may boink his cousin again at a later date.

Okay, this story got interesting in a Jerry Springer, Trainwreck sort of way. Do keep telling me what is going on.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: rookie on September 23, 2018, 10:10:52 am
He doesn't want her anymore, now that Niam found her. See, Jake, I used to be a fairly active member here. Niam knows me and knows I have lots of family in the Sandwich area of the Cape. He also knows I spent much time there. Using my family connections I was able to find her and send him the relevant information. It's now the talk of anyone who speaks with a Kennedy "R".
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 23, 2018, 11:05:31 am
He doesn't want her anymore, now that Niam found her. See, Jake, I used to be a fairly active member here. Niam knows me and knows I have lots of family in the Sandwich area of the Cape. He also knows I spent much time there. Using my family connections I was able to find her and send him the relevant information. It's now the talk of anyone who speaks with a Kennedy "R".

But Niam later admitted that he was lying that he had sex with her.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Askold on September 23, 2018, 11:41:28 am
I just came back here to let Jacob know that if he gets tired of trying to find out who the king of England is here's a candidate: https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/9i6tm2/lawful_rebellion_against_the_queen_under_clause/

He knows about as much of the British laws as Jacob does and seems about as likely to succeed in his plan. If the two of them join forces maybe they'll get to be roommates in jail.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 23, 2018, 12:12:16 pm
I just came back here to let Jacob know that if he gets tired of trying to find out who the king of England is here's a candidate: https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/9i6tm2/lawful_rebellion_against_the_queen_under_clause/

He knows about as much of the British laws as Jacob does and seems about as likely to succeed in his plan. If the two of them join forces maybe they'll get to be roommates in jail.

That guy isn’t a true heir, he is just someone proposing a rebellion. But that makes him someone I can team up with in my plan to restore the true heir to the throne.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Askold on September 23, 2018, 01:22:20 pm
What makes you think that his claim to the throne is any worse than whoever it is that you support this week?
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 23, 2018, 02:16:09 pm
What makes you think that his claim to the throne is any worse than whoever it is that you support this week?

Because he is not of Royal descent.
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Askold on September 23, 2018, 03:05:10 pm
How do you know?
Title: Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
Post by: Jacob Harrison on September 23, 2018, 03:15:35 pm
How do you know?

Your right, I don't. He could have royal descent. But my tracing of the true heirs shows that his possible descent does not follow primogeniture.