Kenyan lawyer suing Italy and Israel for the death of Jesus

[Star Cluster]

a) The International Court of Justice settles legal disputes between states, not between states and individuals.

b) The modern States of Israel and Italy did not exist 2,000 years ago.

c) A document written by the friends and followers of the alleged victim can hardly count as unbiased evidence of the unlawfulness of the conviction. There are no reliable records of that execution taking place, anyway.

d) If one ignores all the obvious problems with the case, it actually gets tried, and the Bible is accepted as evidence, then one must also consider that the Bible claims Jesus is still alive in Heaven and could appear on Earth if he so desired. Could the court call Jesus to testify? After all, he's the victim, and of all the parties involved in the incident, he is allegedly the only one still alive. Surely his testimony would be invaluable.

But if Jesus hadn't been killed, then the whole cornerstone of Christianity could never have happened.

That's right. Christians should be thanking us.

I've actually heard people claim that the Crucifixion was God's "Plan B" and that Jesus was actually supposed to live forever, eventually taking over the world. Hence, anti-semitism.

That's even worse than the standard version. As I never tire of reminding fundies, God is supposed to be omnipotent. What kind of self-respecting omnipotent being has his plan thwarted by a bunch of silly humans?

Besides, it's quite clear in the Bible that Jesus knew Judas would betray him. If he actually didn't want to get crucified, he probably would've taken some preventative measures, like not hanging out with him anymore.

Excellent summation, Sigma.  Very close to what I was thinking while reading the thread.  It wouldn't even an average lawyer to beat this lawsuit if it did go to trial, which is highly unlikely.  Can't discredit the Bible?   I think he's in for a disappointment.

[ironbite]

While there is no statue for murder....is there a statue for a murder that didn't take?

[Barbarella]

Ignoring the obvious stupidity of this, I'm certain that 2000 years would go well beyond all Statutes of Limitations.

What a dork.

There are no statute of limitations for murder.

True. I was, in failed comical fashion, just stating that 2000 years is a rather long time to wait.

[Sleepy]

This entire thing sounds like a comedy routine. Especially if the stuff Sigma mentioned actually occurs (which I highly doubt, but still). Just imagine -- the courtroom is packed, everyone is on the edge of their seats as Jesus is called to testify, then BAM. That bitch is a no-show.

[Iconic Komodo Dragon 2]

But if Jesus hadn't been killed, then the whole cornerstone of Christianity could never have happened.

That's right. Christians should be thanking us.

Well that logic didn't stop christians from hating the jews in the middle ages. Or after that as proven by exhibit A.

Actually this has always been the main reason for anti-semitism in christianity.

The other reason being conspiracy theories. Centuries ago it was stories about jews kidnapping christian kids and sacrificing them in their dark rituals to their demon god. (Yes, I know that it's the same god as the one christians worship but let it be never said that logic is a part of conspiracy theories.) Nowadays it's more often a story about jews controlling the world or being secretly muslims/atheists.

Don't forget faking the Holocaust somehow, that's the most important part!

[PosthumanHeresy]

This is almost as stupid as the crusades.

And it's just as stupid as the Spanish Inquisition.

[Osama bin Bambi]

But if Jesus hadn't been killed, then the whole cornerstone of Christianity could never have happened.

That's right. Christians should be thanking us.

Well that logic didn't stop christians from hating the jews in the middle ages. Or after that as proven by exhibit A.

Actually this has always been the main reason for anti-semitism in christianity.

The other reason being conspiracy theories. Centuries ago it was stories about jews kidnapping christian kids and sacrificing them in their dark rituals to their demon god. (Yes, I know that it's the same god as the one christians worship but let it be never said that logic is a part of conspiracy theories.) Nowadays it's more often a story about jews controlling the world or being secretly muslims/atheists.

The blood libel myth was always the funniest and most ridiculous anti-Semitic accusation to me. Besides the fact that the Torah specifically prohibits murder and drinking blood, a lot of the detective work done back then was very shoddy, to say the least. For instance, the authorities almost instantly suspected the Jews even when there were far more suspicious people involved.

[davedan]

But if Jesus hadn't been killed, then the whole cornerstone of Christianity could never have happened.

That's right. Christians should be thanking us.

Well that logic didn't stop christians from hating the jews in the middle ages. Or after that as proven by exhibit A.

Actually this has always been the main reason for anti-semitism in christianity.

The other reason being conspiracy theories. Centuries ago it was stories about jews kidnapping christian kids and sacrificing them in their dark rituals to their demon god. (Yes, I know that it's the same god as the one christians worship but let it be never said that logic is a part of conspiracy theories.) Nowadays it's more often a story about jews controlling the world or being secretly muslims/atheists.

The blood libel myth was always the funniest and most ridiculous anti-Semitic accusation to me. Besides the fact that the Torah specifically prohibits murder and drinking blood, a lot of the detective work done back then was very shoddy, to say the least. For instance, the authorities almost instantly suspected the Jews even when there were far more suspicious people involved.

Detective work even 100 years ago was fucking awful. If you ever get the chance read the 'Mayne Inheritance' - it is really about embryonic Brisbane and the University of Qld but in reading it one thing struck me as fucking amazing:

"A miner came to Brisbane town and was spending up big drinking in the pub and showing off his fortune in Iron Bonds. He is later found dismemebered, butchered if you will, most gruesomely, and most expertly. (He is found in Queen St -which back then was a offshoot of town dirt road - which is now the very centre of town). The police are baffled  at this most heinous murder. However do not think to follow up the murder with inquiries about what happened to his Iron Bonds. Nor is it thought suspicious that Patrick Mayne- a butcher operating on Queen Street- has now a fortune in Iron Bonds which he uses to purchase St Lucia."

[The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist]

This entire thing sounds like a comedy routine. Especially if the stuff Sigma mentioned actually occurs (which I highly doubt, but still). Just imagine -- the courtroom is packed, everyone is on the edge of their seats as Jesus is called to testify, then BAM. That bitch is a no-show.

Even better, 5000 nutjobs claiming to be the second coming show up.

[Sigmaleph]

This entire thing sounds like a comedy routine. Especially if the stuff Sigma mentioned actually occurs (which I highly doubt, but still). Just imagine -- the courtroom is packed, everyone is on the edge of their seats as Jesus is called to testify, then BAM. That bitch is a no-show.

Even better, 5000 nutjobs claiming to be the second coming show up.

Oooh, I didn't think of that. That certainly would be something to behold.

[PosthumanHeresy]

This entire thing sounds like a comedy routine. Especially if the stuff Sigma mentioned actually occurs (which I highly doubt, but still). Just imagine -- the courtroom is packed, everyone is on the edge of their seats as Jesus is called to testify, then BAM. That bitch is a no-show.

Even better, 5000 nutjobs claiming to be the second coming show up.

Oooh, I didn't think of that. That certainly would be something to behold.

What I'd want even more is for one of them to be ruled real just to see what would happen.