Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 364038 times)

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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #480 on: February 27, 2012, 06:32:35 pm »
Granted. You feverishly tear open the packaging only to find that there has been an error at the printer's and every page is blank. Unfortunately, a member of a terrorist cell has been activated. They work in the packaging department - you have now been infected with anthrax.

I wish for another season of Fawlty Towers.
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“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #481 on: February 27, 2012, 09:50:13 pm »
Granted. You feverishly tear open the packaging only to find that there has been an error at the printer's and every page is blank.
As long as the game itself works, I happy. Though a blank manual is rather irritating.
I wish for another season of Fawlty Towers.
Granted, but John Cleese is replaced with "DJ Pauly D" (At least I think that's his name) from "Jersey Shore".

I wish it weren't so goddamn hot right now.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #482 on: February 27, 2012, 10:07:41 pm »
Granted, but now you're freezing and are stuck in your undies.

I wish that my beer wasn't empty. :(
a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #483 on: February 28, 2012, 02:39:36 am »
Granted - you now have beer, but it is a North Korean brew made from rancid yak milk and old French Colonial toenail clippings imported from Viet Nam. You choke on la coupure d'ongle d'orteil de Georges Méliès. Fame at last!

I wish I could afford the lifestyle of an international playboy - and still remain a (relatively...) nice person.
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #484 on: February 28, 2012, 11:53:01 pm »
Granted, but you now have a league of assassin's trying to kill you for your money.

I wish it was next week already.
a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #485 on: February 29, 2012, 08:55:24 am »
Granted, but reality imploded last week. You are now a one dimensional being in a two dimensional 'brane, waiting for a new event...

I wish that my recently repaired tooth would stop hurting so much.
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #486 on: February 29, 2012, 01:11:24 pm »
Granted, but reality imploded last week. You are now a one dimensional being in a two dimensional 'brane, waiting for a new event...

I wish that my recently repaired tooth would stop hurting so much.
Granted, the tooth falls out because of shoddy repair work and you swallow it.

I was my band had the $$ it needed to pay rent for our practice space.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
Ego: +5

There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #487 on: February 29, 2012, 01:14:42 pm »
Granted, but all your instruments break.

I wish that I was motivated to do my chores right now...
a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #488 on: February 29, 2012, 01:20:16 pm »
Granted, but all your instruments break.

I wish that I was motivated to do my chores right now...
Granted, your motivation comes from my band hitting you with our broken instruments when you do something else.

I wish that response didn't sound so sadistic.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
Ego: +5

There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #489 on: March 01, 2012, 02:43:05 am »
Granted - you are magically transported to Sadist World where the act of beating to death with broken musical instruments is regarded as a mere warm up proper sadism such as ritual disembowelling - with a spoon.

I wish for pink fluffy bunny slippers!

Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline Normandy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #490 on: March 01, 2012, 09:18:16 pm »
Granted, but they're made out of real, dead bunnies.

I wish for my very own army of bunnies.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #491 on: March 01, 2012, 09:28:03 pm »
Granted, but corruption and incompetence amongst the NCOs and general lack of discipline in the rank-and-file results in an almost non-existent fighting ability and reduces your army to a vegetable and grain eating machine.

I wish the lunch rush was over already.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #492 on: March 01, 2012, 09:29:32 pm »
Granted, but you now have no business at ALL.

I wish that life was a little simpler.
a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #493 on: March 01, 2012, 09:34:26 pm »
Granted, but you now have no business at ALL.
I don't have any to begin with, since I only wanted to get some food without having to fight my way through crowds.

Granted, you now live in China. Your life is as simple as work 16 hour days at a factory until you either die or are rendered a cripple and homeless by a workplace accident. Enjoy.

I wish for sandstone paving to be banned.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2017, 10:29:47 am by Art Vandelay »

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #494 on: March 08, 2012, 04:47:48 am »
Granted. All paving is now made from custard. Custard is not very good as a paving material. You are blamed for the sandstone ban. Peasants bearing torches and waving pitchforks attack your house, drag you out and hold you face down in the custard.

I wish for my own army that I could be the boss of and that I would tell them what to do and they would have to do it or I'd get really cross with them.
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.