Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363518 times)

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Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #465 on: February 27, 2012, 12:11:20 am »
Granted.  I am now a zombie and I just bit you.

I wish that my freaking shirt hadn't shrank in the wash.
Granted. The washing machine broke instead. No shrinking!

I wish my room was clean as a whistle!

Just Having Some Tea, Hanging With My Friends...

Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #466 on: February 27, 2012, 12:20:34 am »
Granted, your room is now covered in people's spit.

I wish that I had an unlimited supply of chocolate ice cream.
"Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'être obligé d'en pleurer."

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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #467 on: February 27, 2012, 12:27:16 am »
Granted, but you are now lactose intolerant.

I wish that my stupid phone would quit wigging out on me.
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #468 on: February 27, 2012, 12:32:42 am »
Granted, it now yells out "fuck you, nigger" whenever you're near large groups of black people.

I wish my 3DS was here right now.

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #469 on: February 27, 2012, 02:39:17 am »
Granted. Some kind soul has loaded a new game which is totally addictive. You start to play. Time means nothing. You no longer eat or drink, you no longer use the bathroom - you no longer live.

I wish for the sixth volume of A Song of Ice and Fire to be published NOW!
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #470 on: February 27, 2012, 09:07:29 am »
Granted, but it's absolutely horrible, and all the fans start rioting.

I wish that I could snap my fingers and have my hair all brushed without having to deal with the in between caveman look after I get out of the shower.
a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #471 on: February 27, 2012, 09:35:21 am »
Granted, but it's absolutely horrible, and all the fans start rioting.

I wish that I could snap my fingers and have my hair all brushed without having to deal with the in between caveman look after I get out of the shower.
Granted. Your hair, however, is always styled to make you look like Carrot Top. But well brushed!

I wish I could go one day without hearing a bad piece of news.

Just Having Some Tea, Hanging With My Friends...

Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #472 on: February 27, 2012, 10:04:47 am »
Granted. You hear no bad news. You hear no good news. In fact, you hear nothing as you have been permanently deafened... Justin Bieber unexpectedly dropped around your house for a spot of afternoon tea (Darjeeling, triangular cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off, fishpaste on saltines, the usual). He was spotted by a young female fan who immediately started texting. You now have a good idea of the sheer decibel level that can be generated by the massed vocal chords of 1,475 12/13 year old female teenies.

I wish for a Gibson Custom Shop SG Custom VOS.
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline Ranger_Joe

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #473 on: February 27, 2012, 11:46:14 am »
Granted, but it's a MEL Gibson.

I wish I could slap some sense into our politicians. (US Gov)
Rangers Lead The Way..All The Way!

I would give a fuck, but I gave my last one to your mother last night.


Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #474 on: February 27, 2012, 12:08:08 pm »
Granted, but it's a MEL Gibson.

I wish I could slap some sense into our politicians. (US Gov)
You are immediately presented the opportunity, as you are thrust into the middle of a joint congressional session. Your sudden appearance causes the entire joint session to quick turn their heads, causing whiplash akin to a hard slap. For a moment, all the politicians question reality. Then the topic at hand, the budget, is brought up, and things return to normal.

You are then immediately arrested for breaking into congress.

I wish I had a high definition LCD TV, 30-odd inches, with an HDMI output.

Just Having Some Tea, Hanging With My Friends...

Offline Ranger_Joe

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #475 on: February 27, 2012, 12:32:27 pm »
Granted, but it's a MEL Gibson.

I wish I could slap some sense into our politicians. (US Gov)
You are immediately presented the opportunity, as you are thrust into the middle of a joint congressional session. Your sudden appearance causes the entire joint session to quick turn their heads, causing whiplash akin to a hard slap. For a moment, all the politicians question reality. Then the topic at hand, the budget, is brought up, and things return to normal.

You are then immediately arrested for breaking into congress.

I wish I had a high definition LCD TV, 30-odd inches, with an HDMI output.

Granted, but it has a permanent image of goatse burned into it.

I wish I still had my Ranger Body.
Rangers Lead The Way..All The Way!

I would give a fuck, but I gave my last one to your mother last night.


Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #476 on: February 27, 2012, 03:35:11 pm »
Granted, but you are under mind control and are forced to run marathons non stop without rest.

I wish that I wasn't so bored.
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"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #477 on: February 27, 2012, 04:03:36 pm »
Granted, but you are under mind control and are forced to run marathons non stop without rest.

I wish that I wasn't so bored.
Granted, you are now being chased by killer robots who's sole mission is to end your life in the most painful way imaginable. The only way to stop them is to blow up the Vatican. Have fun not sleeping.

I wish this last job application gets me a job.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #478 on: February 27, 2012, 05:03:45 pm »
Wish granted.  They work you like a dog for shit pay.  Oh, did I mention that you're on call?  Yeah.  They can make you come in whenever the fuck they want, for any reason or none at all.

I wish I could fly like a pegasus.
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #479 on: February 27, 2012, 05:29:34 pm »
Granted, but you land like Al-Qaida.

I wish my copy of Professor Layton and the Curious Village would hurry up and arrive.