Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363401 times)

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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1815 on: July 11, 2013, 05:50:34 pm »
Granted. You wish for Marilyn Manson to ass-rape you with a dildo covered with rusty fishhooks.

I wish for a chainsaw gauntlet, so I could act like I had a chainsaw hand without actually having to lose my real hand.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1816 on: July 11, 2013, 05:54:27 pm »
Granted. The flimsy thing breaks the first time you put it on.

I wish I had precisely one metric fuckton of delicious soft pretzels.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1817 on: July 11, 2013, 09:52:57 pm »
Granted. Specifically, you have them inside your lungs.

I wish the Celsius and Fahrenheit scales were done away with and everybody measured temperature in kelvin.
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1818 on: July 11, 2013, 09:56:39 pm »
Granted. Everybody hates having to use such awkward numbers though.

I wish I had a grappling hook pistol.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1819 on: July 11, 2013, 10:40:46 pm »
Granted. You accidentally shoot yourself in the groin in the process of drawing it.

I wish I had a mask like Rorschach's.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1820 on: July 12, 2013, 06:22:21 am »
Granted. You accidentally shoot yourself in the groin in the process of drawing it.

I wish I had a mask like Rorschach's.
Granted. He thinks you stole it from you and kills you.

I wish I had tons of dead bodies in my attic.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1821 on: July 12, 2013, 08:40:18 am »
Granted. Neighbours complain about the smell, so the police drops by for a visit.

I wish I knew why you want tons of bodies on your attic.

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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1822 on: July 12, 2013, 01:04:47 pm »
Granted. The information is so disgusting that you are driven to madness by it.

I wish I had a combination guitar/AK-47.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1823 on: July 12, 2013, 01:48:40 pm »
Granted. You shoot yourself in the crotch, rendering yourself unable to enjoy the mountains of conservative poon you would otherwise get.

I wish for the hammer-fighting skills of Thor.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1824 on: July 12, 2013, 05:03:41 pm »
Granted. You shoot yourself in the crotch, rendering yourself unable to enjoy the mountains of conservative poon you would otherwise get.

I wish for the hammer-fighting skills of Thor.
Granted. Your hammers are normal hammers, though, and most of his attacks rely on super strength or other powers, so it's pretty useless.

I wish for all the cats in the world.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1825 on: July 12, 2013, 05:21:28 pm »
Granted. This includes things like lions, tigers, leopards, etc. You are ripped apart and devoured.

I wish R.U. Sirius would stop making me shoot myself in the groin.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1826 on: July 12, 2013, 05:23:23 pm »
Granted. This includes things like lions, tigers, leopards, etc. You are ripped apart and devoured.

I wish R.U. Sirius would stop making me shoot myself in the groin.
Granted. He makes you shoot yourself in the head.

I want everyone who says "Dawg" shot.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1827 on: July 16, 2013, 12:09:48 am »
Granted. Their wounds are all non-lethal, and they carry on saying "Dawg" after they recover.

I wish I had some beer right about now.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1828 on: July 16, 2013, 12:35:49 am »
Granted. It's in an unopened can that's being forced up your anus. Sideways.

I wish I didn't have such a negative attitude.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline MadmanJohnson

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1829 on: July 16, 2013, 07:57:28 am »
Granted, you are now Kirby.

I wish I was surrounded by chibi leek-holding Mikus.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2013, 08:02:10 am by MadmanJohnson »
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