Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363437 times)

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Offline MadmanJohnson

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1800 on: July 09, 2013, 06:57:42 pm »
Granted, you are now possessed by his ghost.

I wish for all the powers of Superman, The Flash and all of the Lantern Corps.
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Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1801 on: July 09, 2013, 07:22:35 pm »
Granted. Everyone else has those powers as well; you are not special.

I wish summer lasted longer up here.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1802 on: July 09, 2013, 08:50:33 pm »
Granted. An asteroid hits the Earth, changing the tilt of its axis. All human life is extinct, but at least you have longer summers.

ETA: I wish I had not forgotten to make a wish before posting, requiring this edit.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2013, 08:52:07 pm by Sigmaleph »
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Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1803 on: July 09, 2013, 09:00:15 pm »
Granted. Instead, you wished to be flayed alive, then dipped into a vat of vinegar. Said wish was then granted without being corrupted.

I wish real life came with a mute button.
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Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1804 on: July 09, 2013, 09:59:37 pm »
Granted. The mute button then malfunctions, leaving you effectively deaf. You go insane from never being able to listen to music

I wish I knew how to cook Indian food.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1805 on: July 10, 2013, 02:50:31 pm »
Granted. The mute button then malfunctions, leaving you effectively deaf. You go insane from never being able to listen to music

I wish I knew how to cook Indian food.
Granted. It's the only thing you know how to do.

I wish I had horrible things happen to me.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
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Together as one, against all others.
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Humanity does learn from history,
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Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1806 on: July 10, 2013, 03:00:22 pm »
Granted. They're only considered horrible by fundies, and no one else.

I wish I had a better computer.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1807 on: July 10, 2013, 03:14:58 pm »
Granted. They're only considered horrible by fundies, and no one else.

I wish I had a better computer.
Granted. It's sentient, and its name is GLaDOS

I wish I had the world's biggest dick.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2013, 02:01:53 pm by PosthumanHeresy »
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1808 on: July 11, 2013, 08:01:19 am »
Granted, but your urethra is stuffed with rather angry hornets.

I wish the internet wasn't so spotty.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1809 on: July 11, 2013, 11:24:40 am »
Granted, now it's stripey.

I wish for the sharpshooting skill of the Lone Ranger.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1810 on: July 11, 2013, 02:02:25 pm »
Granted, now it's stripey.

I wish for the sharpshooting skill of the Lone Ranger.
Granted. You're in the same time period as him, too.

I wish for a cat to sit on my lap.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1811 on: July 11, 2013, 02:27:21 pm »
Granted. You get crushed to death by the 800-lb. tiger.

I wish for a completely tame pet polar bear. As in, so tame and friendly that a toddler could play with them with no risk of anything bad happening.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1812 on: July 11, 2013, 03:49:10 pm »
Granted. He's so tame and friendly that when burglars break into your home, he goes home with them, thinking he made new friends.

I wish mountains and ski resorts were the only places that got snow in the winter.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1813 on: July 11, 2013, 04:37:44 pm »
Granted, but they're also the only places that get oxygen.

I wish for some chicken schnitzel.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1814 on: July 11, 2013, 05:44:37 pm »
Granted, but they're also the only places that get oxygen.

I wish for some chicken schnitzel.
Granted, but it's covered in shit.

I wish I knew what to wish for.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.