Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363649 times)

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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1470 on: January 29, 2013, 10:04:00 am »
Granted, he wished that the record floods in Queensland and NSW weren't the product of him sweating in the record heat wave two weeks ago.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1471 on: January 29, 2013, 11:11:54 am »
Granted, you get nothing ever again. Not even oxygen.

I wish I had been Calvin in "Calvin and Hobbes."
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1472 on: January 29, 2013, 12:57:18 pm »
Granted. But you were adopted by the Family circus family. They donated Hobbs because talking tigers and imagination both are of the devil.

I wish I had a yummy blueberry pie that didn't contain any ingredients that would make me hurt (like razor blades) or uncomfortable (like laxatives).
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1473 on: January 29, 2013, 03:17:20 pm »
Granted, you get nothing ever again. Not even oxygen.
Errr, granting that wish gave you the wish to corrupt...

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1474 on: January 29, 2013, 03:20:51 pm »
I wish I had a yummy blueberry pie that didn't contain any ingredients that would make me hurt (like razor blades) or uncomfortable (like laxatives).
Granted... Emphasis on had. you made it yourself. It looked lovely too. Then Jim Levenstein came to visit while it was cooling on the window sill. Don't worry, the only discomfort is mental... See if you can enjoy it as much as he did.

I wish the French education system wasn't dedicated to rolling out pedantic douchebags...

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1475 on: January 29, 2013, 06:41:13 pm »
Granted, but now it rolls out people who aren't educated enough to wipe their own ass.

I wish that I had some people to go with upcoming concerts with.
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1476 on: January 30, 2013, 03:43:53 am »
Granted. They vote to see the Von Trapp family singers.

I wish that wishes were horses.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1477 on: January 30, 2013, 08:03:26 am »
Granted. The next one you get is a stallion who decides you smell like a mare in heat.

I wish centaurs were real. The "noble warrior" type in popular media, not the drunken rapist type from actual mythology.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1478 on: January 30, 2013, 10:39:25 am »
Granted, but they're all arrogant assholes who refuse to have any contact with the modern world.

I wish that the sun would peak out a little and get rid of this mist so I could take a walk.
a.k.a. TGRwulf
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"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1479 on: January 30, 2013, 05:10:50 pm »
Granted, but you get major sunburn.

I wish for a menagerie containing one of every cute animal on the planet, who would all get along together and not try to kill and eat each other.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Auggziliary

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1480 on: January 30, 2013, 05:15:32 pm »
Granted, but you get major sunburn.

I wish for a menagerie containing one of every cute animal on the planet, who would all get along together and not try to kill and eat each other.

Granted. You don't have enough and now you're stuck with millions of dead bodies of cute animals.

I wish my bird was potty trained.
BITCHES! YOU BITCHES! Killing me won't bring back your God damn honey!

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1481 on: January 30, 2013, 05:52:30 pm »
Granted, but he tries to peck your eyes out all the time now.

I wish that a recent order I had placed online didn't come with the wrong thing in the package.
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"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1482 on: January 31, 2013, 10:45:43 am »
Granted, but it comes with some bonus drugs you know absolutely nothing about and the DEA who'd been shadowing it to the destination to see who collected it, pounce! Boy do they pounce... You better tell who you're moving it on to, or it's 50 years in maximum security for you.

I wish that racist idiots realised exactly how much stupider they are, than the people they're looking down on.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1483 on: January 31, 2013, 11:58:29 am »
Granted, but it doesn't affect their outlook in the least, because "edjamacation's for liberals and pussies."

I wish to be paid $1,000 a day to masturbate once a day.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1484 on: January 31, 2013, 11:44:08 pm »
Granted, you get paid one lump some of 1000 dollars, but you have to masturbate once a day EVERY day without fail or else you owe the whole sum of the money back PLUS interest.

I wish that I had super strength which I could turn on and off at will and control it at different increments.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2013, 11:48:30 pm by TGRwulf »
a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter