Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363513 times)

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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1200 on: December 13, 2012, 12:28:38 am »
Wish granted.  Instead of making you angry, they make you extremely giddy.  You can hardly function normally anymore, as you now have constant giggle fits.

I wish the government wasn't full of stubborn shitheads who can't seem to fucking come to a deal on the debt.
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1201 on: December 13, 2012, 05:03:09 am »
Granted, they're now a bunch of Dr Who fanboys who rack up even more debt at breakneck speed putting blue phone booths all over the country.

I wish the shower was sentient and it would complement me on the size of my bellend every morning.

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1202 on: December 13, 2012, 05:43:54 am »
Granted, but it resents having to lie, so it also air hammers the pipes, and sends random bursts of icy cold and boiling hot water through. It also starts screaming every time you play with yourself.

I wish the vast majority of people who realise that trickle down economics is just being pissed on and doesn't work, but still support it in the deluded belief that one day they'll be able to piss on others if they get pissed on enough (or even just have enough aside to buy an umbrella), would actually clue in to the reality of their situation.

(I'm also confused why you didn't ask for a sentient guy/girl to complement you on your penis under the shower every morning.)

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1203 on: December 13, 2012, 05:46:54 am »
I wish the shower was sentient and it would complement me on the size of my bellend every morning.
Oooh, it's so thin you can hardly see it. It must be the latest model... Is Apple going to sue for infringements on the mac-air design? I never realised miniaturisation had got to that stage.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1204 on: December 13, 2012, 10:32:55 am »
Granted, but it resents having to lie, so it also air hammers the pipes, and sends random bursts of icy cold and boiling hot water through. It also starts screaming every time you play with yourself.

I wish the vast majority of people who realise that trickle down economics is just being pissed on and doesn't work, but still support it in the deluded belief that one day they'll be able to piss on others if they get pissed on enough (or even just have enough aside to buy an umbrella), would actually clue in to the reality of their situation.

(I'm also confused why you didn't ask for a sentient guy/girl to complement you on your penis under the shower every morning.)

Granted. They reject the reality because it's too painful to think about and cling ever tighter to their delusions.

I wish for an anime-type harem of sexy female androids.
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Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1205 on: December 13, 2012, 10:57:10 am »
Granted.  They rebel and tentacle rape you daily.  What other outcome could possibly have come from this wish?

I wish I hadn't slipped, fallen, and hurt my hip today.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1206 on: December 13, 2012, 10:59:32 am »
Granted. You slipped, fell and hurt your wang.

I wish for either warmer weather or snow. This whole thing of it being cold enough to be uncomfortable, but not cold enough to snow is bullshit.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1207 on: December 13, 2012, 10:01:25 pm »
Granted, you get 12 feet of snow, followed by an over 100 degrees heat wave.

I wish that I had the power to bring my favorite musicians back from the dead.
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1208 on: December 14, 2012, 05:14:53 am »
Granted, but they've lost all their dexterity, timing, sense of tone, and are largely brain dead. They form a zombie band that does nothing but Spice Girl covers...

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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1209 on: December 14, 2012, 09:20:04 am »
Granted. I give you to them as a plaything.

I wish my job sucked less.
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1210 on: December 14, 2012, 09:33:16 am »
Granted, it now blows...

I wish there was an afterlife where all smart people get to become happy senile idiots, and all senile idiots are given super-intelligence, perfect recall, no patience and have to suffer through the senile idiots for all eternity and also have the added burden of remembering every retarded thing they did in this life.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1211 on: December 14, 2012, 09:36:05 am »
Granted. Unfortunately, by the time you die, you've become a senile idiot.

I wish for kittens.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1212 on: December 14, 2012, 09:42:51 am »
Granted. They're delivered using a Chicken Gun.

 :) I wish people wouldn't use so many annoying emoticons. :'( >:(
 ;)

 :D


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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1213 on: December 14, 2012, 09:52:06 am »
Granted. Instead, they use assicons.
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(_|_)oooO

I wish for ferrets.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1214 on: December 14, 2012, 09:54:42 am »
Granted, but they get CJD from eating all the mashed kittens.

I wish for boobicons.
(oYo)