Author Topic: Vending Machine  (Read 172535 times)

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Offline Random Gal

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Vending Machine
« on: March 12, 2012, 06:09:47 am »
Thought I'd add another popular internet game to the forum.

A huge vending machine stands before you! You can put in whatever you like and receive something else in return, usually related to whatever you put in.

Example:

Person 1: I insert a cow.

Person 2: You get a bottle of milk.
Person 2: I insert a meteor.

Person 3: You get a bunch of squished dinosaurs.
Person 3: I insert Rush Limbaugh.

Person 4: You get a steaming pile of bullshit. Er, I mean, you get Rush Limbaugh back. It's kind of hard to tell the difference.
Person 4: I insert a kitten.

and so on.

So I'll start by inserting a kitten.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2012, 08:05:36 am »
You get the broken and bloody remains of a kitten you just forced through a vending machine. You asshole.

I insert my dick.

Offline Podkayne

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2012, 12:31:50 pm »
The broken and bloody remains of your dick you just forced through a vending machine.

A painting of a sailing ship being towed by steam tugs.
Don't make vague, generic threats, or else!

QueenofHearts

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2012, 01:06:03 pm »

A painting of a sailing ship being towed by steam tugs.

You get a painting of steam tugs being towed by sailing ships

I'll put in my cell phone.

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2012, 01:10:35 pm »
You get Bieber's cell phone number.

I insert Kansas.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2012, 04:55:34 pm »
A seemingly endless stream of corn, wheat, and soybeans pours out of the machine.

I insert the Bible.

Offline Cerim Treascair

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2012, 04:59:58 pm »
You get a list of books and previous mythos they ripped off, with footnotes and details.

I insert the legendarily bad Sonic 2006.
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Offline Eniliad

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2012, 05:13:15 pm »
You get Sonic Unleashed.

I insert the Mona Lisa.
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Offline gyeonghwa

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2012, 05:43:22 pm »
You get several thesis about the meaning and significance of the Mona Lisa

I insert the UNESCO list of intangible cultural heritage.
That may be the single gayest thing I have ever read on this board. Or the old one. ;)

Offline Random Gal

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2012, 06:06:41 pm »
You get a list of "Places we should bulldoze for being eyesores and turn into hotels/casinos/oilfields/etc."
...It looks suspiciously similar to the list you just put in...

I insert my ex-girlfriend.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2012, 06:09:18 pm by Random Guy »

Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2012, 06:45:36 pm »
You get my brother's ex-girlfriend.  (Majorly overweight, dumber than a post, and married to a Mormon.)

I insert a TV.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2012, 10:35:07 pm »
You get a tv that plays nothing but Jerry Springer reruns.

I insert another vending machine.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2012, 11:32:32 pm »
You get the "yo dawg" guy (whatever the fuck his name is).

I insert a bag of cabbages.

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2012, 12:06:08 am »
You get a bunch of dancing Irish folks.

I insert a white elephant.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline jumpingjackflash

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2012, 12:30:06 am »
You get the "yo dawg" guy (whatever the fuck his name is).

You're referring to Xzibit, I assume?

Anyway...you get a stampede.

I insert a copy of Final Fantasy VII.
Ok seriously, is nobody even going to try and avenge my man-burrito?