Author Topic: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?  (Read 7002 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline rtvc2012

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 442
Is it pretty much everything not missionary-position-with-lights-off-for-procreation-only, or does anything go as long as a ring is on the finger?

Offline Caitshidhe

  • The Keeper of the Kupos
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 800
  • Gender: Female
    • Axiom Speaks
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2013, 04:57:15 pm »
It depends on the sect. Some are really liberal and think premarital sex and sexual activity is okay as long as you're being safe about it and it's with someone you love--others think it's only okay in marriage but you can do whatever you want there--some think anything except procreative sex with the lights off, the man on top, and the woman thinking of England is a one-way ticket to hell.
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Sigmaleph

  • Ungodlike
  • Administrator
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 3615
    • sigmaleph on tumblr
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2013, 06:00:09 pm »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDBjsFAyiwA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDBjsFAyiwA</a>

I'd add something more, but Cait covered it.
Σא

Offline Meshakhad

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2205
  • Gender: Male
  • The Night Is Dark And Full Of Terrors... Like Me
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2013, 07:38:23 pm »
There were even groups that banned ALL sex, even between married couples.
G-d's Kingdom Is A Hate-Free Zone

Quote from: Reploid Productions
Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.

Quote from: Meshakhad
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!

Offline Caitshidhe

  • The Keeper of the Kupos
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 800
  • Gender: Female
    • Axiom Speaks
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2013, 07:57:18 pm »
There have also been cult groups that don't care if you're married or not (or even if you're actually adults), so long as it's procreative and you make lots and lots of babies.
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Osama bin Bambi

  • The Black Witch
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: 10167
  • Gender: Female
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2013, 08:06:49 pm »
There were even groups that banned ALL sex, even between married couples.

One of them was the Shakers, right? From what I remember, there are only three members left because it's illegal for religious organizations to adopt orphans now, so anyone who joins the Shakers has to be an adult entering of their own free will. Clearly celibacy just isn't an engaging idea for a lot of people.
Formerly known as Eva-Beatrice and Wykked Wytch.

Quote from: sandman
There are very few problems that cannot be solved with a good taint punching.

Offline Caitshidhe

  • The Keeper of the Kupos
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 800
  • Gender: Female
    • Axiom Speaks
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2013, 08:17:45 pm »
Heaven's Gate also tried to get male members (ha!) to undergo castration, though they didn't require it and the whole idea lacks any appeal, so only a small handful of the cult members actually DID do it. But that had less to do with controlling how they did and didn't have sex and more to do with the cult leader's (I can't remember his name) struggling with homosexual urges and coming to the conclusion that somehow it would make things better if he lopped his own balls off and tried to get the other men to do the same.

But cults like that are few, far between, and extreme.
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Dynamic Dragon

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 806
  • Gender: Male
  • Punisher of the Guilty
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2013, 08:34:54 pm »
Heaven's Gate also tried to get male members (ha!) to undergo castration, though they didn't require it and the whole idea lacks any appeal, so only a small handful of the cult members actually DID do it. But that had less to do with controlling how they did and didn't have sex and more to do with the cult leader's (I can't remember his name) struggling with homosexual urges and coming to the conclusion that somehow it would make things better if he lopped his own balls off and tried to get the other men to do the same.

But cults like that are few, far between, and extreme.
Heaven's Gate?  You mean that shitty Western film?
Learn from the past, live in the present, prepare for the future.

Offline Caitshidhe

  • The Keeper of the Kupos
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 800
  • Gender: Female
    • Axiom Speaks
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2013, 08:44:05 pm »
No, the religious cult that famously committed mass suicide in 1997 when the Hale-Bopp comet came by Earth. The leader, Marshall Applewhite, convinced everybody that there was an alien space ship behind the comet and it would whisk them away to heaven or a better world or some shit that I don't remember specifically--but for whatever reason, they needed to be dead to be rescued by this comet. So most of the remaining members (there weren't many left at that point) allegedly voluntarily poisoned themselves.
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Dynamic Dragon

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 806
  • Gender: Male
  • Punisher of the Guilty
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2013, 08:51:43 pm »
No, the religious cult that famously committed mass suicide in 1997 when the Hale-Bopp comet came by Earth. The leader, Marshall Applewhite, convinced everybody that there was an alien space ship behind the comet and it would whisk them away to heaven or a better world or some shit that I don't remember specifically--but for whatever reason, they needed to be dead to be rescued by this comet. So most of the remaining members (there weren't many left at that point) allegedly voluntarily poisoned themselves.
Oh.  I remember that now.  Thanks for reminding me.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2013, 08:57:08 pm by Dynamic Dragon »
Learn from the past, live in the present, prepare for the future.

Offline syaoranvee

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 625
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #10 on: May 04, 2013, 09:07:00 pm »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqSZhwu1Rwo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqSZhwu1Rwo</a>

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 3716
  • Have you got thumbs? SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING THUMBS!
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2013, 09:14:14 pm »
There were even groups that banned ALL sex, even between married couples.

One of them was the Shakers, right? From what I remember, there are only three members left because it's illegal for religious organizations to adopt orphans now, so anyone who joins the Shakers has to be an adult entering of their own free will. Clearly celibacy just isn't an engaging idea for a lot of people.

Uh huh?

Picture of a Shaker service.


If you can't see an application of rule 34 in that then you have no imagination!

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2013, 06:16:15 am »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqSZhwu1Rwo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqSZhwu1Rwo</a>
Oh my god, the Oompa Loompas are rising up against the humans.

Offline Old Viking

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1454
  • Gender: Male
  • Occasionally peevish
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2013, 04:47:21 pm »
A rough rule of thumb here is, if it's pleasurable it's sinful.
I am an old man, and I've seen many problems, most of which never happened.

Offline Vypernight

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1778
  • Gender: Male
  • Stubborn, pig-headed skeptic
Re: What sex acts are considered off limits for Christian couples?
« Reply #14 on: May 05, 2013, 04:51:29 pm »
unless it produces lots of children or is between priests and altar boys.
Whenever I hear a politician speaking strongly for or against abortion, all I hear is, "I have no idea how to fix the economy!"