"And lo, did THE LORD come to Abraham and offer him a round, blue stone.
'Abraham,' THE LORD didst say, 'I give unto thee the gift of Viagra, with it, thou shalt never find thyself wanting when thou dost wish to go in unto your wives.'
And Abraham did praise THE LORD, for he was great and wise. Never again would he suffer the looks of disappointment from those women with whom he didst lay when his soldier didst refuse to stand to attention."